The Love of God

(I found this email that I had written a few months ago in my drafts folder at work today. I had totally forgotten about it. Don't mind the crazy grammar. It's so cool that this was my heart cry a few months ago...it seems so new again)

The love of God. Say it slow -- The LOVE, the essence of life, the reason for breathing, the sense in the chaos, reality at its best, reality at its worst, that kind of LOVE; of God, the Holy One, the Creator, the Alpha and Omega, the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the end-all-be-all Truth and Life, essence of Forgiveness, and reason for living. The love of God.

And His is for me.

Father, I pray, from the very depths of who I am, from my heart I cry out to You, let that be what I really, honestly, fully, and devotedly seek after. Your love, and all that it entails. And I mean all -- if I've gotta be silent for 40 days, if I've gotta fall flat on my face every time I'm in Your presence, if I've gotta hurt for the rest of my life in order to get that kind of love, then so-be-it.

"Team Canada" is back in town!

Christina and I arrived safe and sound in Winnipeg at 2:30 on Monday morning. The drive back was great: Good company, incredible teaching cds, awesome worship and some hardcore intercession thrown into the mix!

Once again I'm back home and left feeling so hungry for God. My longing for Him physically makes my heart ache. It's a good but hard place, almost like a wrestle. God's teaching me that no matter where I am, no matter whom I'm with (or not with) I need to rest secure in His love. Jesus needs to be above all else in my life. Above my love for people, my desire for direction, He needs to be above my calling, above my desire for relationship and friendships... My life needs to be about my love and fulfillment in Him first and foremost. Then, from that place of wholeness, I can step out into what He calls me.

What a learning process life is, eh? (back to being Canadian - heck yes!) It's like I learn a lesson, live it out, forget the lesson and have to learn it all over again....when will I learn and stay learned!?!

Today is our fasting and praying day. I'm excited about what God is going to do tonight! Jesus, may your manifest presence be made known in our lives. In our weakness you are strong - ROCK ON!

Well, work is hollering...hopefully there will be some pics of our trip posted soon.

almost adios

it is almost time to leave this beautiful place. it's definitely a bitter-sweet thought. i don't want to leave, i do want to see my familia, it's sooo good to see Joel, the people we have met are amazing and i definitely want God to continue the work He has started in my life...JESUS BRING IT To COMPLETION!

this week has been incredible! i've learned so much and have had such a great time with these awesome peeps who love Jesus, too! The worship and teaching rock! i love it here at IHOP. (for more details check out Christina's blog. I'm too 'checked out' to write a lot)

Jesus, i ask that you would bless Joel and Joyska! I pray that you would provide all of their needs and fill their hearts with Your love and touch! I ask that You would continue your work that you have started in them! God please bless the One Thing Interns LIKE CrAzY! thank you for their openness, generosity and purpose here at IHOP. May their focus be One Thing - YOU!

JOYSKA YOU'RE WONDERFuL! Thank you for everything!
JOElY YOU'RE WONDERFul! Thanks for everything!
Interns you're wonderful thank you for everything!

I'm going to miss ya'll like crazy.

see ya'll in Wpg! (shoot, sounding American already..)

mud fun!

today Christina and I went out for breakfast to IHOP with Joel and Joyska! It was awesome! We were originally supposed to be leaving right after that but....we're staying! Which was such a good idea!

During the day Chris and I had a picnic outside and crafted it up! It started getting really hot! Good times. How's the weather in Winnipeg? Family, I'm missing you! (how's it being home, Shaun? how are you doing kris and Shane?)

This evening we ended up playing soccer in the mud with the One Thing interns. It was incredible! We are unrecognizable!! There was a lot of laughter, fellowship and MUD!

Man, Chris and I just got back from the prayer room. We sat there for a bit and soaked it in...this place is beautiful.

I'm beat, though. Time for sleep. Christina and I got to experience some good ole Starbuck's with Joely today! (and more awesome interns!!)

hopefully some INCREDIBLE pics to follow! g'night!

change in plans...

Christina and I have decided to stay in Kansas City...FOREVER! Kay, I'm only dreaming. We were really dreading leaving here so we prayed about it and decided it was a good idea to stay in KC till the end of our trip and not go to Chicago! I'm SOOO PUMPED! God is incredible and these people are UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME!

Tonight the One Thing Internship peeps prayed for Chris and I. They say they are blessed to have us here...I think we are a trillion times more blessed! I'm actually quite overwhelmed by these incredible people! I would love to write about all that's going on here (in my heart and just with being here) but I don't really have the words right now.

Joel is hooking us up quite well with getting us into the internship classes and such. We were also invited to dance on the IHOP dance team by the dancers! Got to go to briefing and de-briefing behind stage, miraculously got the prophetic room (thanks Joel!) and so many other amazing blessings!!! Once again, a little overwhelmed!

gotta run...going to IHOP for breakfast with Joel and Joyska tomorrow!
see ya!

WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Off we go!

Today is my favorite SHANE'S 25th BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANE!! I LOVE YOU!

Today I say good-bye to a co-worker. She's going to teach English in a far away land. God bless! Good for her!

Tomorrow I go and celebrate the marriage of my cousin to his fiancée. Good for them!

Tomorrow I LEAVE FOR KANSAS CITY!!!!!!!!!
WOOO WHOOOO! I'm super excited!
Christina and I are heading out after I get back from the wedding and we're driving through the wee hours of the night till we reach our destination: International House of Prayer in KC! We're going to pray, hang out with Joel and Joyska, see the sights, eat good food, and enjoy! We'll be at IHOP from Sunday till about Thursday morning.

On Thursday we'll be making our way down to Elgin, Illinois. There is an incredible couple who live down there and have opened their home to us for a few days! Friday we'll be scouting out the Chicago area and surroundings and on Saturday we will be shaking our booties (no...not really....well, maybe) at a Latin Festival in Grand park! I'm super pumped! If there is a time in our lives to go on a road trip together, now is that time!

Please pray for safety (on and off road), health and revelatory encounter with the True, Living God! Haa haa...I like that - revelatory encounter!

Peace and Wonder Times!
(Can you tell I'm excited?!?)

Fear be gone, be gone! Fear be gone! SCAT!

I woke up this morning at 4:45 to the sound of three drunk male voices beneath my window. They were tormenting the neighbors dog and speaking in really loud voices. I seemed to have woke up in a start and lay there listening to what they were saying. Then I heard the sound of a door knob being fiddled with, drunken laughter and more fiddlin'. I froze. I swore these guys were trying to get into my house! I ran to my bedroom door, locked it, ran back to my bed and peered out of my window. Nothing. I couldn't see any shadows, no people, no dog. Just sounds. Then the door opened, the voices got louder and then they started to fade. It was the neighbors 17 year old son and his friends. It sounded so real and so close because my window had been open and their back door is only about 3 steps away from our back door. They ended up coming back outside and yelling at the dog for a while.

I couldn't believe how shaken up I was. I think it brought me back to the incident I had while running last Friday night. I had gone for a run around St. Norbert at about 11:30 pm and as I reached the corner of Grandmont and Pembina I saw a car swerving out of control with crazed-drunken hollering coming from it. This car proceeded to jump a boulevard and drive into oncoming traffic, still hooting and hollering. At this point I decided to run even faster! I ran till I was completely out of breath and then walked really fast. I kept a pretty good pace until I reached my road and then felt this intense need to run as fast as I could and pray in tongues.

So, there I am sprinting down rue Le Maire and praying in tongues when I hear the squeal of tires and a drunken frenzy from this same vehicle that was driving straight towards me down my road. It was like one of those moments where you feel like your nightmare has become a reality. I ran until my lungs burned and till I thought my legs would give away on me. My thought pattern was thus: I could either continue running and PRAY that I make it into my house before these guys reach me or see where I live or I could jump into a bush or hide behind a car and wait for them to leave. I decided to run and try and make it inside. My prayer then became: Lord, please help my key to go in smoothly! I have issues with getting the front door open on a good day, never mind being chased by a car of drunk guys and having run (really fast) for about 20 minutes or so. I ended up getting into my house and locking the door just before I heard the thump, thump, thump of their deflated tire. They parked right outside my door and put their flashers on. I called my mom, sat on Matt and Rachelle's bed and asked her to pray for me.

Now, after this morning I realize that I don't think these guys necessarily parked in front of my house because they saw me run into it. They may have been picking up my neighbor. However, I was scared spitless.

Moral of these stories. I don't want to live in fear. I kept quoting scriptures this morning and when I realized that I was shaking because of fear it made me kind of angry. When is fear a natural response to a situation that anyone would feel and when is it something that you seriously need to deal with? The first incident really freaked me out. I didn't know how much effect it had on me until this morning when I was afraid that these might be the same guys...What also sucks is that each time I've been home alone. It's Jesus and I. I need to learn to trust Him with my life.

To be the woman that I am meant to be.

Lord, create in me a heart that hungers after you. Create in me a desire to feast with you. Create in me a longing to be with you. Create in me a purity of heart and mind. Create in me knowledge of you. Create in me the ability to love like you. Create in me....You.

a thankful heart is a happy heart.

My prayer over the last few weeks has been like a cry to God to stir desire in my heart for Him. To be jealous for His presence, jealous for His touch. He's desirable.
I want to fall more in love...
I want to fall more in love..
I want to fall more in love with you, Jesus.

I'm in one of those radical thankful moods again so I'm going to make a little list of the little things that I'm thankful for:

-God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit
-my family ( I LOVE THEM!)
-ice cream cake the morning after my birthday
-my camp
-people who cut hair
-almonds (also chocolate covered almonds)
-friends
-opportunity

What are you thankful for?

...a HAAAAAAAAPYYYYYYYYYY Birthday!

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO MY FABULOUS BROTHER SHAUN!!! Shaun, you're the bestest brother a person could ever ask for! I love you and miss you like crazy and can't wait till you come back home : ) Hope you're having an awesome time at camp!
Jesus, I ask that you would bless this next year of Shaun's life. I pray that he would fall more and more in love with you and that you would direct his steps. May he have the strength and perseverance in school and be a shining light in a dark place. Bless him and keep him and cause Your face to shine upon him. AMEN! I love you, bro!

Prayer last night was amazing! We took the time to listen to what God was speaking to us. Most of the time we are asking, seeking, speaking and praying to God....yesterday we waited and listened and it was quiet but God was speaking and bringing revelation and prophetic words. Incredible. God is good! I want more of that Encounter with God. Encounter fuels desire. Which fuels and fans into flame our love for Him. Our Passion. Encounter is good. God is good!

the last few days...

This weekend was incredible. My lovely family and I went to Rock Lake (the best camp in the world! Although I am biased because I've been going there for 14 years!) to see my brother for his 17th birthday bash! Shaun's birthday is technically on tomorrow, the 10th. We arrived on Friday and left early Sunday afternoon. Seeing Shaun ROCKED, being with family ROCKED and being at camp ROCKED! I had an awesome time! I got some really good, dead on prayer and enjoyed beating all the boys at King...umhum..QUEEN of the dock! (Bon, we definitely have to work on our stance and strategy of the game) I'm missing my bro and praying that he learns even more over the next two-three weeks that he's there!

Yesterday I went to a soccer game and had a blast. A few friends of mine play on the team and while they played my girl friends and I made crafts and chatted it up. Then a group of boys between the ages of 6-9 approx. came and asked which team we were cheering for. We told them we were cheering for the yellow team, the Azteks. I ended up playing football with a soccer ball with these 5 boys. They were so sweet! It made my desire for doing missions and working with kids even stronger!

These were the kids:
Josh - out going little guy, very good boy, was so obsessed with getting the soccer players autographs but really wanted me to go with him to ask them. He was stoked when 2 of them signed his hat! He plays hockey.

Alex - another out going kid. He seemed a little unable to express himself besides having his reactions to things and people come out a little violently (or boyish). He continually hit people in the face with the ball on purpose and had the best tackle I have ever seen! I had to tell him to apologize to Dema after he hit him in the nose...and he actually did! He got his hat signed too.

Bartash - he was so sweet, really cute, and he played fairly and well. He was great! He was born in Canada but his parents came from the Poland before he was born. He got his soccer ball signed by the guys.

Philip - Cute little out going kid, good at the game, very joyful. He was born in Croatia and lived there till he was 5. He said, "When I'm older I want to play soccer for Croatia, where I was born. There was a war when I was in my mommy's tummy and I had a lot of toys but I couldn't play with them. I also had a pink bike." So cute! He got his sandal signed.

Dema - he was the cutest little kid in the world! He was the youngest of the group and very sensitive. Such a good sport about playing with the bigger boys and he was so excited when Richard (on the soccer team) signed his shoulder. He had a thick Ukranian accent because he had just moved to Canada about 3 months before.

Those were the cutest little boys and it was awesome playing soccer with them. The boys were all immigrants besides Josh (who was native) and Alex (at least I think he was born in Canada) and the cultural diversity rocked! Jesus, bless these kids! May they come to know your love and truth. Amen.

I've been tagged!! Drum roll pleeeaaassseeeee!

Supposedly there has been this thing called "tagging" that has been happening on some blogs in cyberspace. My sister has tagged me and now it's time for the sharing circle to begin!

10 years ago today-> I was 10 years old and on summer holidays between grades 4 and 5. I would have been going to Christian Enrichment Family Camp (Rock Lake - the BEST place in the world) for a week with my mom, sister and brother. Other than that I would have been hanging out and doing fun, kid things with no work or school for the summer!

1 year ago-> was working at Winnipeg Hearing Centre and celebrating my first anniversary of working there. God was doing INCREDIBLE things in my life and showing me His love and power! I was also at Rock Lake for a few weekends which was amazing!

Yesterday -> it was my first day busing from my new home in St. Norbert to work (on Portage Avenue). I worked from 9-5 at the hearing centre. After work I headed to Kristi and Shane's for prayer night (which was really good) and then they drove me home after a nectarine and cinnamon bun and then I organized some stuff, chatted with Matt and Rachelle and went to bed. mmmm...sleep!

Tomorrow -> I work 9-5 and then meet up with a great friend (Christina) and a couple of other people and we're going to hit up Folklorama! Never been, it'll be a new experience!

5 snacks I enjoy ->chocolate, fruit (berries especially), ice cream, slurpees, smoothies/milkshakes...

5 adult beverages I enjoy -> the occasional margarita or daiquiri....otherwise just slurpees! I don't have 5 adult beverages I enjoy! (kris, I'm keeping your answer. However, I like my margarita's and daiquiri's virgin - they taste better!)

5 bands I know the lyrics to-> lots of worship stuff like Chris Tomlin, David Crowder, Shawn McDonald, plus some Jack Johnson, Mae...

5 things I would do with $100 000 000 -> TRAVEL/go on missions, buy a car, give money to my family, take people grocery shopping that can't afford it, give lots to church, charities and people going on missions, etc.

5 locations I would like to run away to -> Europe (all of it), Mexico, Africa, Egypt, Israel. (those are the first ones that popped into my head but I want to go all over!!)

5 bad habits I have -> assuming, worrying, procrastinating, cracking my neck and back, sitting with bad posture (sometimes)

5 things I love doing -> dancing (bustin' out the ugly moves!), spending time with family and friends, being pampered (especially getting massages), barbeques, doing fun, spontaneous things!

5 things I would never wear -> stilettos, a thong bikini, leather pants, a silk jumpsuit, a million dollar ring.....Kristi, why a spacesuit?!? You crack me up!

5 tv shows I like -> I don't really watch tv but if I did....Gilmore Girls, Oprah, Dr. Phil, CSI, the news.

5 movies I like-> Princess Bride, Father of the Bride, Bride and Prejudice (newer, Bollywood movie), My Girl, Swing Kids & Newsies (I'm lumping those together...I also really like musicals!....lots of bride?!?)

5 famous people I would love to meet-> lots of people from the Bible...Jesus, Mary (mother of Jesus), Queen Esther, John (I once again agree with you, Kristi)...and I would have loved to meet Mother Theresa because she was amazing. I would love to meet and swing dance with Christian Bale (because he's amazing in Swing Kids!!)

5 biggest joys at the moment -> Encountering my Savior (prayer, worship, church, personally), holding babies, having a great coffee date with a good girlfriend, taking a great picture or painting a beautiful painting, planning random trips and making great memories!!

5 favorite toys-> at the moment..my fan, my easel, paint and canvas, CAMERA, books...

5 people to tag -> Marcia, Sonya, Maria, Cam, and Nathan ( I hope none of these people have already been tagged! If so, opps!)


Hope that was enlightening and enjoyable!!!
Have a great day, ya'll!!!

Warning: the following is a vent.

I'm all moved in, almost completely packed still, struggling with busing schedules (I can't come to prayer tonight unless I get a ride because the busing is insane!) and crying because MTS can't get my phone hooked up and in order for them to be able to get it hooked up they need to send someone into the house to check out what's wrong and that costs a minimum of $75.00 per half hour!!!

Well, I wanted "consecration".....I think I got both consecration and isolation. Can't go out because it's too far to bus, and I can't call anyone because I have no phone. (I'm having one of those stupid 'woe to me' moments. sorry)

However, I'm LOVING living with Matt and Rachelle!! They're fantastic!

If you could pray that all of the little things get worked out that would be great! bon voyage.