truth be told

"Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you." Jeremiah 31:3 (NKJ)

Friday, March 25, 2005

Thank You, Jesus!

Today is Good Friday. The day that my Savior died for my sins so many years ago. He died that I may have life eternally - with Him and in Him. There's so much to say....Thank you, Jesus! Your love and sacrifice has set me free!! Thank you! I love you, God! Thank you!

Thursday, March 24, 2005

pyramids. spectacles. day dreaming.

Ode to la dreams.

I had a dream a few months ago that if I pointed my camera at a certain angle towards the moon I could see Egypt. It was very creative, really. I actually end up in Egypt running from some very bad people. I believe I hid in an open tomb in a pyramid. Everyone else [don't worry, they were alive] in these open tombs were singing the "Bunny Song" from Veggie Tales as they were repeatedly 'bowing' in their tombs. This meant that they went from this lying down position to sitting up in a kinda crunch position sort of way.

I remember feeling passionately about not bowing down. Bowing was wrong. I was not to put any idol above the one and true God. The entire time that I was in the pyramid I was watching myself through my camera which was pointed at the moon at the right angle. It was such an interesting and interactive dream. I woke up proud of myself for knowing right and wrong. These last few days (about a week or so) this dream, and pyramids in particular, keeps popping back into my head. Lord, what are you trying to say to me?

Yesterday my dad took me out for supper. We had a date. HE called me up, HE paid for my meal, HE initiated the date. I WAS THRILLED! I even wore a nice sweater instead of my regular hoodies ; ) He noticed! Wow. God continue working in our relationship. Thank you, Jesus!

I had a dream last night that I was incredible at playing the cello. At least I think it was the cello!?! It was a beautiful instrument.

I am a beggar at the feet of Jesus. That picture has stayed with me since housegroup. It's reality. Psalm 69.

I hopefully get to pick up my new glasses tonight. They're nerdy - I love it! Feeling o so random today.

I'm day dreaming about life in Ireland. Ahh...the accents. The rolling greens and cool wind in my face. Welcome to my adventure. In my day dream this was my response when asked where I had come from and why: "I am on a journey, an adventure with Jesus." All alone with nothing familiar but His quiet whisper, the tangible presence of my Lord.

. bon voyage. signing off .

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Love - In all the wrong places.

Yesterday I was walking out of the Bay after work when I was approached by a rather intoxicated young man. As soon as I saw him I began to pray in tongues. He had randomly gone up to a guy crossing the street and had very calmly told him to f-*# off. He had bruises all over his face and had looked like he had already taken a pretty brutal beating.

As I was waiting to cross the street he swings around the light post that I'm standing beside and asks me if I know where he can find some pot or weed. Usually when I'm asked this question I like to say, "I can't offer you drugs but I can pray for you" or something to that effect. I, however, didn't think it was such a good idea with this guy.

He continues looking at me and says, "Can I ask you a question?" I said sure, not having a clue what he would ask me. He says, "Can I kiss your lips?" (Yikes!) I was a shocked but calmly informed him that he could not kiss my lips.

I looked across the street to see if the bright, shining wee little man was signaling my exit and was grateful to see that it was time to leave! I wished God's blessings on him and began to walk away. He started to follow me for a few feet but stopped in the middle of the street and yelled, "But I love you! I love you!" As I walked away.

This broke my heart. He was looking for love in the one form that he knew it. It's days like these when I wish I were a man and would be comfortable telling him about a love that is not fleeting, a love filled with restoration, a life-giving love that heals what has been broken.

Father God, I pray for this young man. Would you bring people into his life to tell him of Your unfailing, unconditional love. Lord, would you give me the words to say in situations like these. Thank you, Father, for protecting me every day! I pray that the fear of man would not hinder what You want to do in and through me. Jesus, would I be a broken, empty vessel in which you can flow through. Touch those around me, God. Use me. I love you, Jesus!

Monday, March 21, 2005

Frustration with directionlessness...rrr.

Last night I had a dream that I was in Asia (I'm not quite sure where) with a group of people. I don't remember who was all there or what we were originally there for - I think it may have been that there was some kind of hockey championship going on?!

I had to make my way through this huge, intricately designed building to get to wherever I was going. I remember that bathrooms were a rare commodity. Even from our hotel room I think we had to go outside into the street to some sort of restaurant to find a public washroom.

On one of our "journeys" to find a washroom we ended up in an old, run down chapel. We being myself and a group of other women. At one point it seemed that this would have been a gorgeous church with it's balcony, pews and stained glass windows.

One of the girls that I was with began to say how she would love to start an orphanage in this chapel. All of a sudden this desire to start one was hugely pressed upon me and different plans for creating an actual orphanage popped into my head. The drawing plans were so real and detailed.

This isn't the first time I've had a dream about restoring an old building/home/warehouse into an orphanage. The first dream I had (or the one that I remember) came a few months ago. I was sent afloat on a raft with another group of people (in a different country but I'm not sure which actually could have been Asia too?!? I think I remember something about Buddha) from one part of this island to the next. We got to the other side of the Island and ended up in a very run-down warehouse. Our plan was to take this junky building and create it into a place of safety, comfort and love for children.

I'm not sure if these dreams mean anything or if it's my imagination working overtime but I am tempted to know if there are some pieces of direction in here for me. I am so craving to be directed by God that I'm reaching a point of frustration. I need to make some decisions regarding where I live and with whom - and future in general - in these next few weeks (my roomie is moving home - sniffle..) and I want to know where to go, what decisions to make and what to do with myself. If God wants me here, okay. Then I don't want to be in this place of seeking after direction so I lose sight of what is right in front of me. If I am to GO than I want to know where, when, etc.

I want to do God's will in every aspect of my life....I guess I'm just frustrated in general these days! I want God to tell me exactly what to do so I can do it!! I know that God gives us free will, choice and desires for a reason but I really want to here from Him where He wants me and what He wants me to be doing. The thought of making my own decision scares me because I don't want to make the wrong decision!!! I didn't know I was so frustrated...or afraid.

I know that God's will and His ways are perfect. His timing is impeccable! ......but...RRR....sometimes I get frustrated with my lack of direction!
(I just re-read what I wrote. God really did give me desires for a reason and if I look at those desires and seek His will as the foundation of my decision...can I really go wrong?!?)

Thursday, March 17, 2005


I like St. Patrick's Day! I knew very little about St. Patrick so I decided to look up some info on this guy. His story is such a testamony of faith, perserverance and trust in God. Wow! I want to live a life of abandon to Jesus, my Saviour. Once again, WOW! If you wanna read up some more about St. Patrick you can go to It's got some stuff to offer.

Here are some snid-bits from St. Patrick's Breast-Plate:

I bind to myself today
The strong virtue of the Invocation of the Trinity:
I believe the Trinity in the Unity
The Creator of the Universe.

I bind to myself today
The virtue of the Incarnation of Christ with His Baptism,
The virtue of His crucifixion with His burial,
The virtue of His resurrection with His Ascension,
The virtue of His coming on the Judgement Day.


I bind to myself today
God's Power to guide me,
God's Might to uphold me,
God's Wisdom to teach me,
God's Eye to watch over me,
God's Ear to hear me,
God's Word to give me speech,
God's Hand to guide me,
God's Way to lie before me,
God's Shield to shelter me,
God's Host to secure me,
Against the snares of demons,
Against the seductions of vices,
Against the lusts of nature,
Against everyone who meditates injury to me,
Whether far or near,
Whether few or many.


Christ, protect me today
Against every poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against death-wound,
That I may receive abundant reward.

Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ within me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ at my right, Christ at my left,
Christ in the fort,
Christ in the chariot seat,
Christ in the poop,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks to me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I bind myself today
The strong virtue of an invocation of the Trinity,
I believe the Trinity in the Unity
The Creator of the Universe.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When asked the question of who God is and all that pertains to God, St. Patrick answered with:

"God, whom we announce to you, is the Ruler of all things....
His dwelling is in heaven and earth, and the sea, and all therein.
He gives breath to all.
He gives life to all.
He is over all.
He upholds all.
He gives light to the sun.
He imparts splendour to the moon.
He has made wells in the dry land, and islands in the ocean.
He has appointed the stars to serve the greater lights.
His Son is co-eternal and co-equal with Himself.
The Son is not younger than the Father.
And the Father is not older than the Son.
And the Holy Ghost proceeds from them.
The Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost are undivided.
But I desire by Faith to unite you to the Heavenly King..."

I love how St. Patrick was so focused on the power, authority, grace, love and affection (etc. etc.) of the Trinity!! His passion is beautiful and inspiring! Jesus, teach us to love You with all of our beings! Holy Spirit would you move and work in us! May the things that we do and say bring You glory, Father! Thank you God for people who are a true example of a life lived loving You. I pray that I, too, will be an example to those around me. Amen.


( did this day become a drink-fest?!?! kinda ironic)

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

I'm exotic and everybody likes me!!!

Quite the title, eh? Who woulda thought I'm taking a course on humility right now?!?! Let me explain...on Sunday my housegroup and I had a surprise birthday party for Cam (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CAM AND RACHELLE!!!) and we ended up having a conversation about what type of fruit we would be if we were to be a fruit. I was told I would be a pineapple - because I'm exotic and everybody likes me! Well, I've never been told that before!! Thank you, Jacs, thank you!!

Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FRIENDS CAM & RACHELLE. I pray God's richest blessings on both of you! May you both be filled with His peace, strength and joy this next year! I freakin' love birthdays!!!

This is a random post...but was anybody else up at 3:00 am? I think I maybe got some sleep between 6-7 this morning but besides that was up all night. I'm feeling crappy today and was even crappier last night! I hate it when sickness gets in the way of sleeping. I really love my sleep!

Anyway, 3 am. I got up and got some water and such at 3 this morning and realized that my roomie was up, as well. She couldn't sleep and kept waking up and thinking she needed to shower and get ready for school. It was nice being able to chat with her at that time, ironically. I dunno... I just had this weird sorta feeling come over me at that point in my sleepless night. I ended up turning on my light and reading my Bible and praying for a bit....maybe it was just personal revelation, but I felt like God was really trying to say something. I'm not quite sure what He was trying to let me know... It was good to spend time with Him in the night, though.

Well, maybe it's lack of sleep that has me rambling without a point!?! I hope you're all having super-fantastic days, your not sick (Really, I've got nothing to complain about! I'm so thankful for my health! Thank you, Jesus, for all of my limbs and organs!) and a great HIPHIPHORRAY to the birthday peeps! Blessings! Over and out.

ps...I love office night. It had been way too long!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

What's the balance?

When am I being assertive and when do I cross that line into feeling and acting impatient? I want to be a good communicator. I haven't been the best at communicating in the past, quite frankly it used to scare me, but I think with all that God is doing in me He's creating in me a better communicator (so to speak). Hallelujah!

I just got off of the phone with a client. This client never calls to book an appointment. He just walks right in demanding to see the audiologist no matter who else has booked an appointment before him. This ticks me off! I know in the whole spectrum of life it's not a big deal but now I'm forced to send him away every time he doesn't have an appointment (the audiologist refuses to see him without an appointment now). Just book a bloody appointment!

So, he called today - which is amazing in itself! He told me that he wouldn't be able to make it in at a specified time but would come sometime in the afternoon. He wanted to come in around 1:00 and the only other appointment was at 2:30. I had to tell him over and over and over again that he could not come in at 1:00! If he wanted to see the audiologist on that particular day he had to come in at that particular time.

It got to the point that I was being really...assertive. At least I hope I was still being assertive and not crossing into revealing my frustration. I don't feel bad about the way I was dealing with him but it made me wonder how often I act the same way as this client. When do I push the boundaries that do not need to be pushed? When do I assume things of people and demand my way?

Now, I'm not feeling any condemnation over this and I don't feel like I have a problem with pushing into other people's boundaries (if I do please tell me!) but I want to be aware of this. Everyone needs boundaries! If we don't have them we end up being used, abused and burned out....

How did I end up over here? I thought I was talking about communication?!?! Maybe that will be the next lesson learned - staying on topic while communicating? There's too much to get into on the topics of communicating, respect and boundaries. Maybe another time. I do know that I want to be faithful in all of these things, though.

Anyway, just some food for thought.

Saturday, March 05, 2005


I have fire in my bones. It's consuming me.

On Friday, I was sitting at the far back of the bus on my way home from work. I literally felt that there was this tangible fire in my bones (which didn't hurt) that was burning to get out....agh...I wish I could put words to it!!?!! There's this song that Jason Upton sings about the shadow of this generation healing people. It was kinda like that - that the Spirit of the Living God was so alive in me that those beside me on the bus would feel Him and come to know Him. It's quite funny because this was prayed over me in KC - that I have fire in my bones and I need to let it out. I'm still trying to figure out how.

I know this sounds kind of crazy (especially to those reading this who don't necessarily believe in Whom I speak of) but it's real. I wanted to run down the aisle of the bus screaming that there is freedom and perfect love found in Jesus!! I "controlled" myself, though. I sat there praying and smiling, instead. As soon as I got home I called my mom to tell her that I was so excited because the Spirit of the Living God lives inside of me! She was happy to hear that and chuckled at me!

About two nights ago I had a dream about fire. My mom and I were driving in a truck and I looked behind me and saw this huge hand-like fire ball falling out of Heaven. It was like this fire-hand would reach out, then retreat. It did this a few times. You should have seen the colours in this fire! Bright yellow, purple, red, orange, blue...etc. My mom and I ended up having to stop the car because our physical beings could not handle the fire. We both stopped breathing for a bit (or had trouble breathing). I remember thinking in my dream, "is this fire from God or not? Is it good fire or bad fire?"

Now that I think about that dream I realize the power of the fire of God. God's fire is consuming. His fire is dangerous. His FIRE IS BEAUTIFUL! Anything that is not Holy will be consumed and destroyed by the fire of God. In Jesus, we are fire proof. Sounds silly, I know, but with Jesus we have the privelege of standing in the Fire - the very presence of God! We, too, will be consumed but not destroyed. I desire to stand in this Fire. I don't just want to be warmed by it, look at it's pretty colours and not be changed. I want to stand in the centre of this Fire with the presence of God transforming who I am. That this Fire would refine me.

Jesus, teach me about Your Fire. You are an all-consuming God. You are a beautiful God. Lord, I don't know exactly what You're doing in me but I say YES to You! To reach out and touch the Fire. Amen.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

The Flavour of Favour - Starbucks Frapps?

I'm bored and tired so I'm going to post something light and merry (why merry?!?)...

I had a dream last night. This isn't rare for me but the last few weeks I have been unable to remember very much detail of my dreams. The stuff I have remembered has been a little odd.

In my dream last night I had a party at my dad's house in Mitchell (which is close to Steinbach for you non-menno's). The guests were mostly my co-workers - I know that my boss, Mark, was there for sure. I didn't want to serve alcohol at this party (which was already way too loud for my comfort) so instead I served Starbucks frappuccinos. Mmm..they looked awesome in my dream!!

Someone ended up calling the cops because of the noise and all of my guests ran away on me. So, my friend Charlotte and I waited for the cops to come. We began to clean up all of the napkins that were on the ground and we turned on the radio to pick up the conversation that the cops were having in their car. I'm not quite sure how we got reception for those radio-waves but it was quite cool. They seemed calm which made me feel a lot better. I was actually quite calm myself considering the cops were coming to bust up my already busted-up party.

When they arrived at my dad's house they got out of their cars and we sat down at a picnic table that magically appeared on my dad's drive way. We had such a good conversation with these guys...I remember thinking in my dream (or right after I woke up) that there was such favour with these men in authority.

Hmm...favour. That is such a great word. I have definitely been blessed by the favour of the Lord in my life. To look back and see all that God has done in my life is incredible! He has been so faithful. Even when I don't understand some of the circumstances or experiences, God always pulls through and there is a greater lesson learned and my faith continues to build! Lord, would continue to pour out Your favour on all of us! That through our lives many will be touched by Your love. Would You be our Flava of fava!

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Adam Benny

Tomorrow is the anniversary of the death of my best childhood friend, Adam. I'm sad, kind of dreading the date and am mourning for his parents. His mom is like my second mom. We went to her house a few weeks ago and she just held me. I told her she could hold me anytime she needed to and she said that she never wanted to let me go. I think that to her I am one of the closest things to her son.

As kids we were practically inseparable. He was my bestest best friend!! We first met when we were two and fought that entire day! After that one incident we loved being together. I actually cannot remember fighting with him! We played in his sand box, with his Light Bright, had the greatest sleepovers until we were "too old" and had the most wildest adventure's in our back yards. I won't even begin to tell you about the adventures had in their good ole' station wagon! When I was sick and my mom was busy I would be shipped off to his house and vice-versa. I loved him!

Adam was the most caring kid I have ever known! My mom can attest to this - she says the same thing! He was so cute, so giving and an absolutely wonderful friend!

Tomorrow is going to be a hard day. I would love some prayer.

On Sunday my sister and I met with a "mentor" of sorts (a friend and her mom). I told them that I had been struggling with fear lately. Fear of death, losing someone I love - fear in general. As they were praying for me they began to pray about Adam's death.

At his memorial service I was a complete wreck. I thought I had mourned quite "well" because I actually let myself mourn. I realized that I am still on this journey of healing, though. For the first time since his death, I saw my memories of Adam in color again. It was like God was taking me through those memories of him and the part of me that had "died" (sounds so extreme but it's kinda true) when he died seemed to come back to life. It wasn't a dull color or completely colorless anymore - the colors in my memories were vibrant. I could see them coming to life again! I cherish the memories we had together - I wouldn't trade or change them for anything!

Lord, would you be with everyone who was affected by Adam's death. Jesus, because of you we do not have to mourn like those that have no hope - You are our hope. Would you draw near to his family and friends. Would you draw near to me. Amen.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005


This is a last name. Can anyone top that?!?

(It sounds like a swear word! Imagine being asked how to spell your last name when you're 6...shoot. I think I'll stick with Reimer for a while longer thank you!)