Adam Benny

Tomorrow is the anniversary of the death of my best childhood friend, Adam. I'm sad, kind of dreading the date and am mourning for his parents. His mom is like my second mom. We went to her house a few weeks ago and she just held me. I told her she could hold me anytime she needed to and she said that she never wanted to let me go. I think that to her I am one of the closest things to her son.

As kids we were practically inseparable. He was my bestest best friend!! We first met when we were two and fought that entire day! After that one incident we loved being together. I actually cannot remember fighting with him! We played in his sand box, with his Light Bright, had the greatest sleepovers until we were "too old" and had the most wildest adventure's in our back yards. I won't even begin to tell you about the adventures had in their good ole' station wagon! When I was sick and my mom was busy I would be shipped off to his house and vice-versa. I loved him!

Adam was the most caring kid I have ever known! My mom can attest to this - she says the same thing! He was so cute, so giving and an absolutely wonderful friend!

Tomorrow is going to be a hard day. I would love some prayer.

On Sunday my sister and I met with a "mentor" of sorts (a friend and her mom). I told them that I had been struggling with fear lately. Fear of death, losing someone I love - fear in general. As they were praying for me they began to pray about Adam's death.

At his memorial service I was a complete wreck. I thought I had mourned quite "well" because I actually let myself mourn. I realized that I am still on this journey of healing, though. For the first time since his death, I saw my memories of Adam in color again. It was like God was taking me through those memories of him and the part of me that had "died" (sounds so extreme but it's kinda true) when he died seemed to come back to life. It wasn't a dull color or completely colorless anymore - the colors in my memories were vibrant. I could see them coming to life again! I cherish the memories we had together - I wouldn't trade or change them for anything!

Lord, would you be with everyone who was affected by Adam's death. Jesus, because of you we do not have to mourn like those that have no hope - You are our hope. Would you draw near to his family and friends. Would you draw near to me. Amen.