truth be told

"Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you." Jeremiah 31:3 (NKJ)

Sunday, October 30, 2005

...and that was just the beginning!!!!

So the night started out with a limo ride...and just kept getting better!

My work had a "Rockin' Soiree" yesterday. It was this huge party in the Press Club at the Ramada Hotel. This party was kickin'! We had two awesome live bands, a whole lot of people from TO, my co-workers and a wicked draw. And I mean a WICKEDLY, ROCKIN'-AWESOMELY, AWESOME WICKED DRAW!

I MEAN>>>>>>>> I WON A TRIP FOR TWO TO PUERTA RICO!!!!!
wooooo whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
Puerto Rico, here I come!

I got out of the bathroom to hear "the farm boss" saying something about how much he appreciates us and something about a trip. Then one of the head guys from Starkey (a manufacturer) pulled a name out of a hat and Kyle said, "We'll be having to give a whole lot of *high-fives* after this is done" or something to that extent, and then he said MY NAME!!! And I freaked out! I ran up to them and give them multiple *high-fives* and told them "YOU REALLY ROCK!!!"

So I'm going to Puerto Rico (which is a small little island near the Dominican) in January. I am BLESSED! Thank you WHC, thank you Starkey and thank you JESUS!

The awesome part about this story is ....

Before I found out that I didn't get my apartment (last week) I had a great little convo with God on the bus on my way to work. I asked Him what I should do if I didn't get the apartment. He said, "Let's go away together" I said, "OK". So that day I found out that I did not get that apartment and I started praying about where to go and when, with God. I had got some solid "plans" formed in my mind but was really sad at the reality of it meaning that I would have to quit my job and leave Wpg. (I have come to love it and the peeps) But I decided that God has my best in mind and I wanted to follow Him no matter what it meant. God has to come before all things: people, jobs, money, places, etc. So, I started forming ze plans - stepping out in obedience.

After my name was called in the draw I heard, "Let's go away together" and I freaked out!!! So...not only does God want to go away with me (which sounds whacked out for all the non-Christians, and perhaps some of the Christians, who are reading this right now), but He is faithful to provide the place, the time, the money - EVERYTHING! He is totally pursuing me! (once again, sounding crazy!)

THANK YOU JESUS! I AM SO BLESSED. This trip is just a sprinkle on the icing of the cake. It's a drop in the huge bucket of life. But I am so thankful and so blessed! AHHHHH! WOOO WHOOOO! YEEEHHAAAAA!!!! ruff ruff! (yes, I just barked - I am that excited!)

Saturday, October 29, 2005

This is me. This is my limo. This is me getting into my limo.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Do you truly love me?

I was reading in John 21 this morning. [I love when the Holy Spirit simply breathes upon the Word. It seems to turn from Bread to a Feast.] This is where the Lord asks Simon Peter three times, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" Every time Peter would answer, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you" Peter ended up feeling hurt that Jesus would have to ask him three times if he loved Him because Jesus knows everything! How could He not know that Peter loved Him?

What's been on my mind lately is the fact that Jesus' disciples lived with, walked with, ate with and fellowshipped with the God-Man face to face. They could touch Him, hear Him speak, learn about the Father directly from the Son and yet, before the rooster crowed on the day that Christ was crucified, Peter denied being a disciple of Jesus three times. Peter knew Jesus and yet he denied Him.

This makes me really evaluate my heart. I do know God. I do LOVE God! I have a living relationship with Him but I'm not constantly communing with Him or walking with Him or speaking with Him. I have never seen Him face to face but I do know and believe that He is alive and at work within and around me.

If Jesus' disciples, who lived with Him, could deny His Kingship how much more easy (and this is not an excuse!) would it be for us to deny Him? If we do not take the time to come to know God how will we be able to stand up for Him and say that He is the King? If we do not commune with Him, rest in Him, talk with Him and receive from Him how will we come to know Him?

I want Jesus to say of me, "This one! This one has truly loved Me and she has loved Me well!" I want to touch the heart of my Maker. I want to love Him so well it hurts to think about not loving Him. That I would die for His love! (Jesus had told Peter that he would be a martyr in vs.18) I want to become a love-sick worshipper. I want to be ruined for His love. And I am, to a point. But I think there's so much more...I want more!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

disappointed but hopeful

So today I called the agency that I would have been renting my bachelor apartment from and they told me that someone else already got that apartment. They were very surprised that no one had called me yet. I find it kinda strange. The landlords had said that I was the first person to hand in an application...so something must've gotten mixed up or something??

I gotta run...I'll fill you in on some more details later...
Please pray for direction and opportunities...yadda yadda!
....God's got His best and my best in mind!! WOO WHOO!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Hide-and-Seek

Today my friend Teri and I played our second round of hide-and-seek with God. Let me explain....Last year at about this time my amazing friend, Teri, asked me to play this game with her. She wanted to practice hearing the voice of God. She waited for about an hour while I went and hid anywhere within the city of Winnipeg and then she came to look for me, praying that God would direct her. Teri followed the exact same path that I had walked until she found me. It was amazing! Such a huge faith builder!

The rules of the game are:
-you cannot leave the city of Winnipeg (no crossing the perimeter)
-you can take any number of buses to get to your hiding destination
-once you find your hiding spot, you can't leave until they find you or until the pre-arranged time limit is reached (this is not tag, you have to stay in the same spot)

*The point of this hide-and-seek with God is to practice hearing God's voice - literally!*

This year, it was my turn to search. I was actually feeling really vulnerable. I knew that I could totally not do this on my own and that I would have to listen and wait to hear the voice of God.

I started off at Starbuck's on Broadway and read my Bible, journaled and prayed while Teri went to hide. After about an hour I got up and went in search of my friend. What a journey it was!!! I ended up all over the city taking a total of 4 buses, walking for about two hours, having an interesting conversation with two young Mormons, having a woman pull down her pants and pee right beside me (she was intoxicated) and having interesting chats with some homeless people. It was not only an interesting journey physically but it also taught me a lot about myself (both good and bad).

In the end, I found Teri by the grace, and with the help of, God. She was hiding in my park. I call it my park because it's the park I always go for dates with Jesus in. It was one of my last destinations. It didn't cross my mind that she would be there at all! The cool thing about this game is that every time we've played it, the person hiding has hid in a place that is dear to the person searching's heart. Without even knowing it. God knows us so intimately! It blows my mind!

There's so much more to say but I don't know what else to write. Ironically.

God taught me a lot today. I want to fully embrace this "journey" of life. I so desire the end results of things that I want to forgo the journey and just reach the end. I need to walk through the obstacles, joys, and blah blah blah of all that God has for me. I don't want to be so preoccupied with what the future has to hold that I miss the here and now. I want the future (both on this earth and Eternity) to encourage, inspire and bring life to where I'm walking now. I don't want to run ahead of myself or ahead of God.

Thank you JESUS for who You are! Thank you for speaking! Thank you for playing! Thank you for teaching! AMEN.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Wanted:

Hey guys! I'm moving at the end of this month (if everything works out) and I am in need of a few things. Do any of you want to give away or sell the following items....(or know of anyone who may want to)?

-A table
-Chairs (both table chairs and other)
-end tables or shelves
...mmmm, that's actually all that I can think of this morning...

I could also use some prayer!
-for wisdom in the decisions I'm making : )
-protection in my neighbourhood (it's not that bad...but it's not good ole Steinbach, either)
-financial provision (rents a lot more than I'm paying now)
-for peace and joy!

Thank you Jesus for all that you've done already! Thank you for this opportunity to make a new home for myself. May it be a place where You dwell. May I be a light in this dark place. Amen.

...I guess this means I'm sticking around for another year or so...

Friday, October 14, 2005

His best is my best.

Here I sit. In my office at 6:49 pm. I just got back from apartment "shopping". It was a lonely and daunting task. The whole thought of looking for another place to live has been lonely. The weird thing is that I'm looking for a bachelor apartment which, you'd think, I wouldn't want because that would make it even more lonely! But I do like living by myself and I know of no roommates. However, the thought of making so many new decisions over the last few weeks (moving out, where to move, finances, work, mission opportunities, etc) by myself has made me a little lonely. It seems so much more easy, safe and fun making big decisions with another person(s).

The first apartment I looked at was crap and it was expensive. From their I walked. I walked and I walked. I prayed, thought, got discouraged, and then heard God. He said, "I have the best in mind for you." And then I cried. I have such an issue with trust sometimes. I know that God is soooo good but my heart sometimes just doesn't understand it. I believe and know that God has His best (and MY best) in store for me (in my head) but I don't seem to feel that security.

The song that just popped in my head: "He's still working on me. To make me what I ought to be. It took Him a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth and jupiter and mars. How loving and gracious He must be, He's still working on me!"

I finally ended up looking at a place downtown on a whim. The landlord happened to have a free minute and I gotta see the place. I liked it. It's small, got no counter space and the bathroom is in the closet, but what more do I need? I would have a roof over my head, great accessibility to...everywhere because the busing is that dern good, and I would have a stove to bake bread in (which has become a desire over the last few weeks).

So if you guys could pray for peace to come with the right decision, God to fill the little bit of aloneness that I've been feeling and to continue teaching me these lessons that will (I'm counting on!) make me a more godly woman, a woman after His own heart, I would love it.

And now I'm off to a sleepover with a bunch of amazing women at the church!
God bless!!

A wonderful compliment!

My co-worker told me today that I am a walking billboard for Jesus. He said that I 'flash', "Jesus! Jesus!" I responded by throwing my hands in the air, shouting, "YES" and saying, "that's exactly what I want to be!" I want people to see Jesus in and through me. That was a compliment!

{This co-worker is not a Christian and says a lot of things sarcastically, but I'm going to take it for what it's worth.)

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Communication

I have found a new appreciation and love for communication. God is teaching me what it means to be assertive and speak up about the hard things. As a child I would never talk about what was going on inside. If someone wanted to talk about issues, I would shut up. I became silent out of fear, out of hurt and out of anger.

A few weeks ago I was praying that God uproot the root of bitterness in Winnipeg. As I was praying He revealed to me my specific issue with bitterness. Because He's good like that. He brought people and specific events into my mind. Crap! I knew He was telling me that I had to confront this issue (and these people) so as to let go of any root that wanted to stay grounded in my heart.

On Monday I prayed and prayed about when to "communicate" with these people and what to say. I ended up going over to their house and the words just kinda spilled out. And to my glorious surprise - ALL WENT WONDERFULLY! God is SOO good! Johnny and Mary (fake names inserted) heard what I said and agreed with my hurt about the issue. Johnny told me that it must have been God for me to get enought gutts to confront them and he said that he was very proud of me.

I feel so much FREEDOM! This issue, which I have dealt with for a few years, no longer felt like an issue. Even before I confronted them I didn't think this issue was a problem anymore because I chose to get over it. However, God, the Great Physician, knowing that I had something harmful in my heart (even though I didn't even), decided to remove it for my good. Thank you, Jesus! I want to be found without any strings attached to sin, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc. I want to have a pure heart.

(You should hear my rant about forgiveness - I'm passionate about forgiveness because I've experienced, seen and tasted the sweet goodness of it!)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

To the loveliest of all lovely sisters!! Happy 23rd Birthday Kristi! I hope you have a great day sleeping in, going out for coffee with me ; ) and hanging out with your fabulous husband tonight! I hope you have a fabulous day and an incredible year filled with God's best!! I love you! (man, we're getting old already....)

...and a happy birthday to my dad who doesn't read this blog. I hope you have a good one and I love you!!

...and a happy birthday to baby Rachel who is one today! Rod and Sonya, you've got the cutest kids!!!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

celebrations and good times!

As Kristi already posted on her blog, today her and I celebrated her 23rd bday! Her actual bday is on October the 12th which happens to be our dads bday, as well. What I love the best about taking out my sister is getting to spend time with her (because I love her) and getting the benefit of enjoying the same pleasures along with her = ) Today we went to our pedicure appointments at 10, had a lovely lunch at Pine Ridge Hollow at 12 and went horse back riding at 2. We had a blast!

Now we both have beautiful toes, although we smell like horses!

My horses name was Bronco. He was a gorgeous colour (brownish-redish) and was quite stubborn. He also had a gas problem. It was hilarious! He kept letting 'er rip in Kristi's horses face. However, even though he had gas he still could keep his pride because he was really good at what he did - not only were they loud, but he farted in different tones. It was like a symphony of explosions between his legs. haa haa! Now that I've grossed even myself out, I'll move on!

I love my sister and I had terrific time with her! Happy birthday Kristi and have a blessed year! (and sooo much more!)

Gotta jet - going to a Thanksgiving supper at the Farrow's. I love that I feel so welcomed at Shane's parents house!

Let the feasts begin!

Friday, October 07, 2005

Happy Birthdays!!!

Happy Birthday Brian!

Happy Almost Birthday Joel!

Happy Almost Almost Birthday Kristi!

Happy Almost Almost Birthday Dad!

I hope you all have GREAT birthdays and incredible years!
You are all such blessings!!

(Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!)

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Starbucks, recycled affection, equipping...

On Monday night I went to Starbucks to drink a yummy drink and spend time with God before I headed off to vision night at church. (Kristi, you have to try the Pumpkin Spice Latte - it reminds me of you and is incredible!) I sat down in the "office" (such fond memories) and tried my hardest not to be distracted as I prayed and read my Bible.

About 45 minutes after I got there a man asked me if he could sit down in the chair opposite of me at my table. He had pulled a muscle playing tennis and needed to sit in a relatively soft chair. This was fine with me so he got his stuff and sat down. This was the beginning of a 45 minute long conversation about God. I LOVE IT! I love talking about God! This was such an awesome conversation!

He started off the convo by asking me what I was studying. I told him, "The Bible." He thought I was taking theology or religion at school but I told him it was because I wanted to know more about God. From there I got to tell him what I believe and why I believe it, and as I spoke I felt as if I was falling more and more in love with God! (There was so much more to this conversation. He told me what he believed [he's a polytheistic, more than one god], he asked me why I pray [that was a fun one to explain!], he didn't know what sin is so I described a part of that, too...God definitely gave me the words!)

No wonder Satan wants us to keep our mouths shut! When we actually start speaking about the incredible love of Jesus, not only do people come to know Him but we ourselves fall more in love with Him as we speak about Him! It was like a cycle of affection. Like blue boxes have that cycle of reduce, re-use, recycle...this cycle was remember, repeat, re-love! (kay, I couldn't think of any other words that started with "r" that worked) But it went something like this: I know what I believe ~ I spoke what I believe ~ I heard the words I spoke ~ I remembered anew the truth that they hold ~ and I fell more in love with this God-Man named Jesus!

Lord, I ask that you would release your anointing on your Bride to preach your Word, Truth and Love with power and with authority. Would our words have power because of the message they hold. Raise up your apostolic preachers! May Winnipeg come to know you. Would your Bride no longer be silent!

Then I went to church for vision night and we talked about equipping - BRING IT ON! I want to learn 'the stuff'!