His best is my best.

Here I sit. In my office at 6:49 pm. I just got back from apartment "shopping". It was a lonely and daunting task. The whole thought of looking for another place to live has been lonely. The weird thing is that I'm looking for a bachelor apartment which, you'd think, I wouldn't want because that would make it even more lonely! But I do like living by myself and I know of no roommates. However, the thought of making so many new decisions over the last few weeks (moving out, where to move, finances, work, mission opportunities, etc) by myself has made me a little lonely. It seems so much more easy, safe and fun making big decisions with another person(s).

The first apartment I looked at was crap and it was expensive. From their I walked. I walked and I walked. I prayed, thought, got discouraged, and then heard God. He said, "I have the best in mind for you." And then I cried. I have such an issue with trust sometimes. I know that God is soooo good but my heart sometimes just doesn't understand it. I believe and know that God has His best (and MY best) in store for me (in my head) but I don't seem to feel that security.

The song that just popped in my head: "He's still working on me. To make me what I ought to be. It took Him a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth and jupiter and mars. How loving and gracious He must be, He's still working on me!"

I finally ended up looking at a place downtown on a whim. The landlord happened to have a free minute and I gotta see the place. I liked it. It's small, got no counter space and the bathroom is in the closet, but what more do I need? I would have a roof over my head, great accessibility to...everywhere because the busing is that dern good, and I would have a stove to bake bread in (which has become a desire over the last few weeks).

So if you guys could pray for peace to come with the right decision, God to fill the little bit of aloneness that I've been feeling and to continue teaching me these lessons that will (I'm counting on!) make me a more godly woman, a woman after His own heart, I would love it.

And now I'm off to a sleepover with a bunch of amazing women at the church!
God bless!!