a Sanctuary for You

I woke up with this song in my head this morning. (I'm not sure if these are even the right words...)

Lord Prepare me
To be a Sanctuary
Pure and Holy
Tried and True
With Thanksgiving
I'll be a Living
Sanctuary
For You

This is my prayer, Lord. To be a dwelling place for Your Spirit. To be Pure and Holy, Tried and True. That I would live a life that is pleasing and honoring to you. To be worthy to be called Your Own, Your Bride. To be tested - shaken - and found standing unoffended in Your Grace. Thank you for Your Grace. I ask that it would be my deepest desire, pleasure...delight...to be a living sacrifice. For you, it is no sacrifice. You're my reward - nothing can compare! I give You all of me (and I don't even know what that all means).

Slowly I'm finding out what God has called me to. Slowly He's opening my eyes, He's enlightening my heart, He's drawing me out - I'm finding out what I was made for. God is revealing the desires of my heart, the lasting and eternal desires. He is working on the issues of my heart that keep me stumbling: The fear, the pride, the jealousy,... Slowly He's refining me.

I've been having a hard time putting words to what's been going on in my life over the last few months. If I've been silent, awkward or different it's because I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling, what God's doing and how I am to live. God's been rooting me and uprooting me. The last few months have been both painful and beautiful. I have chosen to give myself to Him completely. I know I will stumble, fall and He will pick me up again. And again. But I say 'yes' to this process.

This may sound radical - good! I want to live radically.
This made sound prideful - that is not how I mean this! We all have the invitation to seek Him. It is the greatest joy of God when His people desire Him. This is for everyone, not just for some.

This means that I'm trying to give God my time, my energy, my money, my dreams, my everything - because I WANT TO.