truth be told

I've moved...

2008-06-10T15:01:00.001-05:00

you can find me at www.beholdingandbecoming.wordpress.com...

Healing

2008-05-06T22:12:00.002-05:00

Tonight my arm was re-aligned by the power of the Holy Spirit...

HOW SWEET IS THAT!?!?!!

(and, yes, I'm still alive ;)

Just For Shane : )

2007-12-27T20:42:00.000-06:00

My brother-in-law has been asking me to post something for a while...so, Shane, this is for you!

Christmas has come and gone & with it are many good memories, sweet presents and the goodness of the gift God has given us renewed in my heart and mind. My siblings and I did something different this year with the Christmas story, instead of just reading it out of Luke (which we usually do) Kristi, Shane, Shaun & I told the story of the Trinity from before time began all the way to Jesus returning to earth to rule & reign with us, His partner & Bride. It was so refreshing and challenging working our way by memory through the scriptures about God the Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit dwelling together in perfect unity & love, desiring to have a partner and creating humanity out of a place of the abundance of love, not lack thereof or need.

The revelation that Jesus Christ gave up His glory from eternity past to become a baby, humble & dependent, in order to grow up and become a man despised and rejected, all for my redemption astounds me!! Seriously. He didn't have to do that. But He desires relationship with me so much that He cast aside His glory and took on flesh. He is amazing! I want revelation of the love of Jesus to hit my heart daily.

Anyway, here are some pictures from Christmas:

The siblings & I ^
Decorating my stocking from Kristi & Shane ^ I was SO excited! I bought Kristi & myself matching socks for Christmas - She has the red socks, I have the green.
My brother made me a fantastic shirt which I love : )
And on that note I'll leave you with a quote a read today.... "Love hung Jesus on the cross, desire for me (insert your name here) kept Him there".

Have a happy, peace-filled & joyful 2008!

onething Winnipeg

2007-09-18T18:28:00.000-05:00

onething is coming to Winnipeg! Best of all this conference is absolutely free! This is not a typo and you are reading the statement right. The conference is ABSOLUTELY FREE!! If you are a Winnipegger or living in Manitoba then this will be music to your ear.

If you are a youth Pastor, or youth leader. This conference I highly recommend you bring your youth too. There is no conference that I have ever been to that is like this conference. It will change and challenge you and your youth group.

The conference is being held on October 26-27 at Calvary Temple in Winnipeg. To register click on any of the words that say onething on this page. For more details click on anything that says onething as well.

What is onething exactly?

onething is a part of the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri (IHOP–KC). Beginning in 1999, Mike Bickle gathered a few young adults together to start a prayer meeting that has continued night and day since. With every prayer meeting having a full worship team, we total 84 two-hour prayer meetings a week with over 1,000 people involved, continuing over seven years of unceasing night and day prayer, and continue to watch the fire on the altar burn unceasingly.

It is from this seedbed of night and day prayer that we call this generation to a wholehearted pursuit of God, challenging them to seek Him with lives of prayer, fasting and fulfilling the Great Commission. Each year, we have over nine conferences around the nation. Also, we offer two leadership summits and a youth conference, which imparts vision and demonstrates practical ways to living out wholehearted devotion. We desire to see millions of young adults have deep understanding of God’s emotions and profound knowledge of the hour in which they live.

Watch the video below for more information on what onething is.

A Milestone

2007-06-28T21:39:00.000-05:00

today my wonderful, smart, studly, madly-skilled brother GRADUATED from high school!! WOOT WOOT! I am so proud of him. I got time off of work so Kristi, Shane and I booted it down to Steinbach to participate in the festivities - it was great! Shane did an awesome job of out-shouting everyone in the city of Steinbach who was there to support their friends, kids, siblings, etc.

it feels like just yesterday Shaun was the bare-back toddler running around in nothing but a diaper and rubber boots. Today, he's a grown man with a great future ahead of him and no more mandatory school to complete - you're done Shaun!! YAY!

I am so proud of you, Shaun! I'm so happy that you are my awesome brother! God has such great things in store for you! Keep searching Him out and opening your heart to Him. You are His dearly Beloved. And come around Wpg. more so I can see you : )

I love love love you!
I am proud proud proud of you!
CONGRATULATIONS!

the Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face towards you and give you peace! (Numbers 6:24-26)

A Wedding Present

2007-05-22T15:33:00.002-05:00

A few months ago I had a *brilliant* idea to encourage my sister and her husband to start having a family by buying them a cute and cuddly baby outfit. Kristi and Shane are NOT pregnant. Every few weeks I provide them with another outfit to add to their collection. It's been a funny joke and will hopefully get me some nieces and nephews in the not-to-far future ; ) .... no pressure....

Well, this weekend I was away photographing a wedding and when I got back I got together with Kristi and Shane. Ironically and surprisingly, we both had a gifts for one another. So we exchanged our gifts and this is what we got:

Kristi and Shane received two pink little outfits. Super cute. Cute enough that Kristi decided she wanted to wear them. However, they're about 23.5 years too small.

I received a lovely wedding present! My first one, actually. I am NOT engaged. I am not dating anyone. The present was a picture frame with this written on it: "Wedding is a magical celebration of love, formally uniting two people whose hearts are already bound as one. Sharing wishes and dreams, the bride and groom seal with a kiss their pledge for the future."

I think they'd call that "pay back". So, my wedding present collection has officially started. I am the first one in my house of three other women (two dating) who has received a wedding present. So funny! I laughed hysterically! Only in my family do we give gifts before the celebrations actually begin.

Cheers to weddings and babies ... even before they happen!
And thank you, Joyska, for your brilliant idea.

A home for our House

2007-05-08T10:28:00.002-05:00

Yesterday marked Sanctuary's 1 year anniversary! Yay! We've been meeting in a local church on Sunday's from 2:30 - 9:30, seeking God's face, ministering to His heart through worship and interceeding on behalf of our city. God has done amazing things this past year and we're excited to see what this next year will hold!

We are now in the process of buying our own building for our House of Prayer. Our desire is to have unceasing worship and prayer to God for this city! We would love to eventually go 24/7, but in order to do that we need a building to call our own.

We found this old Salvation Army building a few months ago, empty and crying out for some worship to happen once again inside it. This building suits our needs and is a perfect step in this process.

So now we're putting out the word. We need to raise plenty of money by the beginning of June and we would love your help. If you would like to sow into the prayer movement in Winnipeg, you can send a cheque and we will send you a donation receipt in return. You can go to www.sanctuaryhop.com and click on the donation tab.

We are excited about what God is doing in our city. We desire that He come and dwell among us in a greater way. We want healings, signs and wonders, increased wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, salvation, a generation raised up who is lovesick for Jesus... and He wants this more than us!!

Home SWEET Home!

2007-04-12T09:04:00.000-05:00

Kristi and I returned from a business trip to Mississauga, ON on Tuesday evening. It was a good trip all in all but I am happy to be home. After being out of town/country so much lately (Las Vegas, Kansas City & T.O. all in less than 6 weeks) my home is looking more wonderful than ever. I really do love Winnipeg. I like that I like it : )

My business trip was really good! I learned a lot of valuable information and practical skills that will be beneficial to myself and to our clients. The people at Starkey are fantastic! They make you feel like a million bucks and are hilarious, fun-lovin' people. I am very blessed with the job that I have and the people I get to work for/with.

2007-03-29T20:19:00.000-05:00

Our trip to Kansas City was a blast!

It was fun going with my friends & fellow SHOP'ers, Kristi & Christina & Jacquie.

God really impacted my heart while in the Prayer Room. Something seemed to shift in my spirit, I'm not quite sure what it is exactly, but I really like it. Part of it was the ease at which you can encounter the Holy Spirit in the PR. With 24 hours a day, 365 days a year for 7 years, of prayer & worship going on... good things happen!

We met with a couple of the worship leaders while we were down there. I left so encouraged by all that they had to say, new ways of looking at what we do, wisdom on a few things that need tweaking, etc. etc.

All in all - I feel renewed and refreshed.
I am really excited about what God has planned for my life (not in what I do, but how close I can get to Him) and for Sanctuary!

Come Lord Jesus Come!

KaNSaS CiTy hERe wE CoMe!!

2007-03-23T12:15:00.000-05:00

Today Kristi, Christina, Jacquie and I head off to Kansas City for a few days!!! Our main purpose: to pick up Stefan (Christina's brother) and bring him back & to have a girl's trip together!

I am so excited about going down to Kansas City! In December I went to One Thing but the last time I was actually at the House of Prayer was at the end of July. It will be so good!

I am excited about the prayer room!
I am excited about seeing people down there that we haven't seen for a while!
I am excited about the restaurants we'll be going to!
I am simply excited!

Ah, the sweet presence of the prayer room.

2007-03-14T18:46:00.000-05:00

Here are a couple of other pictures from Vegas...

Vegas Pics

2007-03-13T11:24:00.000-05:00

This was our first day of travel/arrival in Las Vegas. The first picture is of the mountains in Salt Lake City. It was absolutely beautiful! We had a 6-7 hour layover there. Then our arrival in Las Vegas and our beautiful mode of transportation - the lovely Hummer stretch. Sweet!

Viva Las Vegas!

2007-03-07T19:18:00.000-06:00

This past weekend was my business trip to Las Vegas, Nevada. I had a really great time!!! It caused me to pray harder (for myself and others), it opened my eyes to many things (good and bad) and gave me a greater appreciation for my boss, co-workers, good customer service, palm trees, nice weather, alone time, sweet hotels/rooms, good architecture, purity and GOD!

I really missed not being an active part of Sanctuary on Sunday. I love what we do as a House of Prayer. I love what God is doing in Winnipeg. I want to pray more. I love that no matter where in the world I am, it is a lifestyle of prayer and wholehearted devotion that I am after. I am after the heart of God!

Our trip started off a bit rocky from having to get up at 5 am, our flight being delayed over an hour, missing our connecting flight from Salt Lake City, Utah to Las Vegas, Nevada and then having our luggage go missing somewhere in between. We got our luggage the next morning around 6:00 am so it all worked out! We also got to fly into Las Vegas after dark so we got to see the lights in all of their glory. Then we got picked up from the hotel in a HUMMER STRETCH!! (that P-Diddy was in the week b4 ; )

I had a hard time the first night with the sights, sin and lack of sleep. The rest of the trip was really amazing, though. There was a lot of grace to enjoy myself in the midst of sin city, singing in tongues and posturing my heart to praise Him. And I have really great co-workers I enjoyed hanging out with! My like for the people I work for and with grew immensely this past weekend!

Friday we had a meeting from 11 am - 5 pm. There was a lot of great information that will be definitely be beneficial to put into practice. Then we went for supper at the Prime Steakhouse at the Bellagio hotel & saw "O" by Cirque du Soleil.

Saturday I had a massage in the pretty and wonderful spa. It was AMAZING! Then we had an "assignment" and had to - just had to - go shopping in Las Vegas. Our assignment was to critique the customer service. My conclusion was this: Winnipeg's customer service goes from bad to ordinary. Vegas customer service is ordinary to extraordinary. They had some very great customer service!

Saturday evening a few ladies and I went to see Celine Dion. It was hilarious! I thought I was either trippin'-high or the choreography was a little ... interesting. It was super funny and a very good laugh! I learned some very good interpretive and ugly dance moves that I hope to put into practice very soon. Dance party anyone?? Celine is very dramatic ... and she stole my pounding fist to chest move!

Sunday we hopped on a plane and got home around 9pm with luggage in hand! My wonderful sister and her hubby greeted me with smiles & slings. Ahh, I had missed them!

I had a really great time but it's good to be home!
(pictures to come)

Revelation 21

2007-02-23T23:03:00.000-06:00

He's not a baby in a manger anymore
He's not a broken man on a tree
He didn't stay
In the grave
And He's not staying in Heaven forever!
(-Misty Edwards)

I love the promises in Revelation 21!
I am so excited for that day.

1/ "Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and first earth had passed away. Also, there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaving saying, 'Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. Then He who sat on the the throne said, 'Behold, I make all things new."

(ps. It's my beautiful friend Becki's 22nd birthday! She is fantastic, lovely, gifted & talented, adventurous, a lover of Jesus, brave and funny! Happy birthday, Becki! Have fun touring the southern islands of New Zealand!)

Heart Render

2007-02-15T22:36:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today at work I decided it was time to take down the Valentine's Day decorations, so I marched up to the pink & red hearts with "Happy Valentine's Day" written in pretty letters, hanging in our window, and took the first one down. Then with great zeal and conviction I ripped the heart in half and stated, "I HATE LOVE!"

After I saw the look of horror on my co-workers faces I realized I had taken this act of rebellion against Love Day a little too far.

You see, I honestly don't hate love. I think love is wonderful.
I'm a lover, not a hater. I was simply taking a humorous stand against the constant teasings of my co-workers about being single.

I then clued in to the fact that I had just ripped a harmless, paper heart in half and immediately apologized to the owner of the heart. Yes, I ripped someone else's heart in half! Good thing it was only paper... and my co-worker has a good sense of humor...

My mending skills that I learned in Home Economics class from grade 9 sure came in handy as I "stitched" back the heart I had so brutally "rended" in a love-less act. Boy does packing tape sure come in handy. The heart may be a little worse-for-wear but they say that "if it doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger".

Moral of the story: Let us rend our hearts.... (see previous post) ... However, spiritually and not physically.

Amen. Let's stand!

Frigid Friday

2007-02-02T22:16:00.000-06:00

It's minus 31 degrees Celsius outside. With the windchill it feels like minus 43 degrees.

I'm sitting in my warm bedroom listening to Misty Edward's Friday night set, drinking blueberry tea out of a massively large tea cup while studying the topic "Beautiful Lovers in a Dangerous Time". I got this "title" from a headline in the Winnipeg Free Press in this morning's paper. I thought it was quite interesting. I don't believe we in Canada have reached a time in history where being a Christian is considered dangerous, but I do believe dangerous times will come our way and in that time I want to be a beautiful lover of Christ. I want to be wholehearted in my devotion to Jesus. I want to be focused. I want my eyes to be on the prize of spending eternity with Him.

Hebrews 12:1&2: "...let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

How then shall I live now if my future and destiny is to dwell with God forever? How then shall I live in light of what is to come? In light of all that God has promised to do in His Word? The day of the Lord is great and terrible. If you love Him, you desire to be with Him where He is. This will be a great day for all who love Him, for those whom He knows intimately. This will be a terrible day for those who do not know Him. If you are not for Him, you are against Him.

How then shall we live?

Joel 2 "'Now therefore,' says the Lord, 'Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.' So rend your heart, and not your garments; Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm. Who knows if He will turn and relent, and leave a blessing behind Him..." (NKJV)

I want to turn with my whole heart. I want to rend my heart in the place of prayer. To turn to Him with fasting, weeping and mourning because He is slow to anger and rich in love. He is rich in kindness.

I haven't touched the place of intimacy, intercession, worship & love (etc.) that I want to. My heart has a "yes" written on it and I know that God is faithful to bring to completion the work that He has started in me. I keep looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith, for He is faithful and He loves me!

All this to say that I love my life. I love what I do. I want so much more!

I initially decided to blog because it's frigidly cold outside, there's only 11 days till my 22nd birthday and one month less a day until I'll be on a business trip in Las Vegas.

I also have a prayer request for my aunt Eleanor because she is going for by-pass surgery on her heart next week. She had a heart attack a month or two ago and now she had another similar attack so they pushed up the surgery date. Please pray that she comes to know Jesus and has a smooth, miraculous surgery &/or healing.

Things I like & have realized....

2007-01-26T15:21:00.000-06:00

-JESUS!!!
-My family!
-the fact that my family and I are spending the weekend at a hotel eating, sleeping, swimming, sitting in the hot tub, relaxing and enjoying each other's company (Merry be-lated Christmas present from our mom to us kids)
-the fact that I'm wearing inexpensive clothing. My pants: $10.00 My shirt: $8.00 My sweater: $4.99. It's a small but delightful thought.
-I get off work in 34 minutes
-I'm thankful for my life
-I'm not nearly thankful enough
-I had a dream in which I was having a conversation with someone and said, "I LOVE my life! I love what I do!" ("what I do" meaning the House of Prayer)
-I have had greater revelation this past week of why I pray for this generation:
1. Many of the teens and young adults in this city deal with depression and suicidal tendencies.
2. Many are addicted to tobacco, alchohol, sex & drugs.
3. There are more cases of child abuse/violence in families than I would have thought.
-These are just a few of the reasons of why I pray. There are so many good things about this generation. I cling to God's promises.
-It will be a beautiful thing to have night and day prayer in Winnipeg. That is one of my desires.

2007-01-24T15:33:00.000-06:00

At work today I was in the back testing a hearing aid and I usually say, "check, check, test 1, 2, 3" ... well today it all came out in tongues. I didn't even realize that I wasn't speaking english until a few words had already come out of my mouth! Well, who said tongues can't be someone's first language? Do you think that everyone's "tongue" language will be the universal language in the Millenial Kingdom?

....just a thought....

"Mom's the word"

2007-01-20T20:49:00.000-06:00

Tonight I begin a strech of a few days of being a nanny. I'm hanging out with a cool 15 year old girl while her parents are away on vacation. I'm quite excited. I think it will be fun & interesting.

While "Mom's" the word, hot would describe the wheels I get to use until Friday night. I LOVE having a car to use! I'm living in dream-land and pretending that this (approx. $30 thousand) baby is all mine!

Off I go!!

Sick Day

2007-01-16T11:52:00.000-06:00

Yesterday Kristi, Shane and I made a spontaneous trip to Mitchell to visit our mom, brother and the foster babes. It was so great to enjoy a spontaneous "road trip" with Starbuck's lattes in the cupholders, knowing the we got to squeeze some really cute kids as soon as we got to mom's house. However, I woke up that morning feeling a little delerious and ended up getting quite sick while in Mitchell. I hate the flu. I don't do well with being sick.

My mom's foster kids crack me up! They are a riot. The 3 year old and the 11 year old continually burst into laughter when Shane says, "Stephanie make fish? Stephanie make Donkey? Stephanie make babies? LOBSTER!" These kids are hilarious. One day my mom phoned me and said that they were saying "Stephanie make Donkey" to each other for about 10 minutes and after 3 year old said it, they would burst out laughing. Then the eleven year old would say, "Stephanie make fish" and they'd burst out laughing. It's good to know that my name can bring such weird joy to such cute kids!

When I got home around 7 pm last night my wonderful roommates promptly put me to bed with a hot pack, a barf bucket, some water and some drugs. I think I was in bed for a total of 15 hours straight. I woke up this morning feeling a little bit better which is good.

Well, I'm going to nurse myself back to health!
Have a great day, everyone!

Emergency Room

2007-01-08T22:36:00.000-06:00

I just spent the last 4ish hours at the ER. One of my friends dislocated her shoulder and needed a lift to the hospital. The wait was insane! She got taken "in" almost right away - meaning she was allowed to wait in the back on a hospital bed for about 3.5 hours instead of in the actual waiting room. (I was in the waiting room) I was amazed to see the amount of people in the Emergency on a Monday night.

In my mad dash out of the house to pick her up, I completely forgot to bring any reading material (Bible, journal, etc) at all. I spent the first bit of the wait praying and THANKING God for my health. It's incredible how much I take my health for granted. Then I started chatting. It's so funny how I sometimes seem to act so much like my mother. She can start up a conversation with anyone, anywhere.

People I met (and people to pray for):
-Young boy (17ish) with heart problem. Was tired of the wait and left without seeing anyone.
-Young woman with blood clot in her lung.
-Cute couple with a beautiful baby girl. Dad looked very sick. Wasn't sure what it was.
...and many others.

Not only did I realize how thankful I am for my health (and how much more thankful I need to be!) but I also don't know if I could work in a hospital. I've always been somewhat interested in the medical field but being there made me kind of sad. I wanted to sit down and pray for everyone sitting in that waiting room. No more pain, no more sorrows...not just physical healing but emotional, as well. There was so much fear, sadness, anger and loneliness.

It was fun to be able to help her out. This was our second adventure to the ER in the last 2 years or so on account of her shoulder...we've decided not to make this a tradition. So after a few hours of waiting, praying, thinking, thanking, chatting, praying and waiting... I took my druggy friend to her home. I pray for complete healing of her shoulder. Amen.

Now it's time to be thankful for my health and hit the hay.
Kudos to all of you who work in the hospital. I'm so proud of you and thank you on behalf of everyone at St. B today. Thanks Kristi, Christina, Roman..and many others!

Hello, I'm Stephanie and I'm your new PIANO teacher!?!

2007-01-05T19:54:00.000-06:00

So I was fiddling on the piano this evening trying to learn a new song when we got a knock on our door. Annie and Marcia answered it to find our upstairs neighbour and her son. She asked for me and then asked me to teach her youngest son piano! Haa haa. How great is that! I told her that I didn't know how to play piano well enough to teach but one of my other roomies might. After we said we'd think about it and they left, I ran upstairs to their house and gave them the trusty piano sheets that Yvonne provided at our "run-down" piano lesson a few months ago (thank you, Yvonne!). So, he's now going to learn the sheets, which chord is what, etc. and hopefully he'll be coming over in the next few weeks, even if it's just to look at the piano and know which keys are where. I'm so honoured, surprised and excited. I'm amazed at how happy I am about this. The thought of teaching someone how to play an instrument really excites me, even though I'm not qualified. (I'll teach him as much as I know and hopefully he can learn from there...)

I'm happy to know that my piano playing doesn't actually scare people away...

...Let's just see if they come around asking for voice lessons ; )

onething or nothing

2007-01-01T18:12:00.000-06:00

I choose onething over nothing and that is a good thing.

The onething conference was a good, stretching, difficult and a well-worth-it experience for me.

My cry this weekend was to become lovesick. I so desire to be lovesick to the point of being ruined for anything less. Even in the pain of desire, I want to long. Even in the ache of hunger, I want to be only satisfied in Him. I don't want this just to be my cry for today or tomorrow - but for 50, 70 years from now. I want to live a life of longing for the Son of Man and a life of encounter with Him.

The first day was the best day for me. God confirmed different things in my heart and revealed to me in a greater measure what He is calling me to. I don't fully understand it yet but I say yes to Him. Mostly, I felt a greater call to intercession. If I want to know Him, I need to spend time with Him in the secret place. Intercession is a place of aligning my heart with His heart. It's hearing what's on His heart and praying it back to Him. Full agreement and partnership. It astounds me that the Uncreated God who sits enthroned in glory wants to partner with weak humans. Thank you Jesus for making this possible!

The weekend was filled with encounter, confirmation, major sleep deprivation, lack of food and 12,000 - 15,000 people worshipping God. So wonderful and so difficult all at the same time!

I am so excited to be back home in Winnipeg. Yes, in Kansas City the weather was so mild that we were walking around in short sleeves and some even went as far was wearing shorts and sandals...and when I got home there was a foot of snow and it was actual winter weather... but I'm still so excited to be here. I missed my sister, Shane, Shaun and family so much, the people at Sanctuary, and my home. I love it here!

Welcome to 2007.
My desire is to fall more and more in love with Jesus by revelation of who He is.
To be faithful in what He's calling me to.
To know this love that passes knowledge.
To love others the way that I love myself, which only comes from knowing the love of God.

Thank you for all your prayers over this past weekend!

The Christmas Craze

2006-12-27T10:07:00.000-06:00

6 gatherings later...
-I have an AWESOME siser and bro-in-law who let me spend Christmas evening with them!
-I have a funny nickname from Shane's brother...
-I have been blessed by the season of giving. (I got a breadmaker, a stocking, clothes... : )
-We talked about end times (in a slightly weird way) at my Reimer gathering last night!
-I saw some cousins that I haven't seen in 6 years or so...I even forgot one of my cousins names... they came out from Alberta and Ontario. It was great to see them!
-My grandma's health is much better this year then last year. Thank you Jesus!
-I have an even greater longing for Jesus. It's amazing that God came as a man. He is fully God and fully Man and He is coming back!! I can't wait till the day that I can see Him face to face. My human mind cannot comprehend it. I'm sure He will look different then all that I imagine. Who can grasp or comprehend the Uncreated? What effect will He have on my heart when I see Him and He looks at me? AHHH!
-I leave for Onething in KC in about...4 hours.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Very Merry Merry

2006-12-19T00:00:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I got pulled over by the cops.
Getting pulled over by the cops usually means that you're driving a car, right? Well, I got "pulled over" while walking across the street. When I was crossing River and Osborne, the bus signal light came on and, because it meant that the walk signal would be on momentarily, I started to walk. This cop all of a sudden starts yelling at me from across the street and waving me over. Then he begins to describe my crime and that crossing the street at any point other than when the cross signal is on is illegal. There is a $92 fine for illegally crossing the street. He let me off easy with just a stern warning and not a fine.

I realize that I'm not very good at being reprimanded. My first reaction was a annoyance and a little bit of anger (I was hurrying home to meet my roommies for our Christmas dinner). But then I realized that this man is in authority and I, technically, am not. Then I had to fight tears on the way home. There's something about feeling like I let someone down...I think it's shame...that makes me cry. By the time I reached my house the whole situation was kinda funny, though. We had a good laugh. I'm very thankful for the warning and not the ticket. I will definitely think twice before I cross the street.

Then my roommates and I had our Christmas together. We all made a different dish (I was in charge of the chicken) and we ended up having a really good dinner! Then we opened our stockings, collectively read the Christmas story and then opened gifts! I got a necklace, a candle and holder and an awesome mirror that was hand-crafted by Kendra, who had my ticket. It was super fun being able to hang out together and simply enjoy our time together, good food and the holiday season. Thank you Jesus for my roommates!

Tonight I'm delivering Christmas hampers to three different families in Wpg. with my work. I'm really excited! The last few days I've had the privilege of being able to shop like crazy for these families! I'm excited to see the faces of the little kids when they get their baskets and boxes. It's so much fun to give!

I leave for Onething in less than a week.
I'm soo excited! Ecstatic, really.

Merry Christmas everyone!
Have a safe and joyous holiday!
(ps. It's actually Dec 21st...I have to fix my date)

Things I love, things I hate...

2006-12-09T01:02:00.000-06:00

I love that today (well, technically yesterday...its 1:04 a.m.)is Christina, Zarah, Anna and baby Joshua's bdays!! (Joshua David Rodney Braun arrived today!!!) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL OF YOU!

I love free food! I hate when you eat too much free food and then feel really sick afterwards. (Shane, I think I'm feeling what you were feeling earlier today!)

I love gift exchanges. Especially when you get pink leg warmers, ear muffs, weird socks, jasmin incense and a hat that says, "I believe in Santa Clause". I hate when I debate taking the box of chocolates but end up with the ear muffs...especially because the box of chocolates had a free trip anywhere in North America for you and a special guest. Oh well. I love that I don't have to feel bad about winning two years in a row ; )

I love healing. I hate sickness & disease.

I love that I have a beautiful Christmas tree.

I love that I get to go to Onething! YES!

I love that Jesus loves my voice, even when I don't.

I love Jesus! I hate when I'm unsure about the "balance" of boldly proclaiming the love of Christ and not offending people that I respect and care about. CHRIST IS EVERYTHING! Every breath that you breathe is because He is giving it to you. I hate that I sometimes just don't know what to say.

I love the grace of God. Not as an excuse for sin, but as the imagery of the Bride leaning on her Beloved, coming up out of the desert in the book of Hosea. Grace is something that comes from and leads to intimacy with Christ. It doesn't take you farther away from Him. Sin seperates us from God. Grace draws us near, both in our actions, heart posture and desire for Him.

I love that I have a warm bed to sleep in. Speaking of, God bless and goodnight.
zzzzzz...

yesterday

2006-11-30T12:23:00.000-06:00

yesterday at work, we found a limp limb of an animal hanging from the fan in the bathroom. this explains why the fan quit working a few days before. and perhaps the stench? and perhaps the maggots next door? sick, I know!

yesterday I got the time off of work to go to ONETHING!!!
i just have to somehow get to Kansas City. Any ideas?

yesterday i had a very funny conversation with my roommates which resulted in Mini-Martha (aka. Annie) making very creative Christmas decorations. the Wardlaw residence is quite excited about Christmas! i love Christmas! Although, I'm not looking forward to how busy it will be. 'Tis the Season.

i'm so blessed! i love my family! i love my friends! i love Sanctuary! i love how God has spared me and guided me. i love that i ravish His heart. I desire to be like Him.

Funny Friday

2006-11-09T22:00:00.000-06:00

It's only 10:30 am and it's been a pretty funny day so far. I got to work and my crazy co-worker Ken decided it would be a good time to make up the story of my life...so here goes...

My life according to Ken:

I recently got married to Sergeant Corporal Dirk Laframboise. We met at the military base dance that I was dragged along to by one of my friends because she didn't want to go alone. Our first dance was to "Thank you for saving me" and I knew we were meant to be together because we had the same verses in our Bible underlined and the same pages book-marked. CD (Corporal Dirk) and I were meant to be! He was called away to Afghanistan right after our wedding and I spent my time in Wpg. with a youth group that we started. Later in our future, I joined him in Afghanistan & even later when he went to Africa. I spent my time giving all the beautiful babies Malaria shots while he was off fighting. I would come home after my day and tell him to start building another bunk bed because another beautiful African baby had found his/her way into my heart & home.

The End.

I have a very creative co-worker.
Actually, the story just kept going...He just finished explaining episode 3 (it's now a tv show) - My crazy, french father-in-law, Rejean Laframboise, came to visit. All he can talk about is the Montreal Canadians. I've now started on orphanage at the military base back in Canada. I have a spanish/french son named, Javier.

The Official End.

Speaking of marriage and weddings...

I have been invited to 3 weddings over the next four weeks. Starting on the 18th, I have the opportunity to attend a wedding every weekend besides December 2nd. Yesterday was one month to the date of Jeremy & Jinelle's wedding, my last wedding of the "wedding stretch". I'm actually quite excited! I guess because my wedding is so far away (uh hum...not even a possibility at this point), weddings still have a certain excitment about them.

Well, I should really get back to work. Big snowflakes are falling outside my window, Michael Buble is singing in the background and I'm going for a massage this evening. It's been a good day!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Viva Las Vegas!

2006-11-03T10:01:00.000-06:00

Guess where I'm going in March? Oh yea baby.

My mom is coming over for a sleepover tonight. I'm soo excited! She has respite for the foster babes at her house this weekend so she needed to find a place to stay - and my house it is! I love my mom! It's so great when your mother/daughter relationship turns into friendship. I'm not quite sure what we're going to do but I'm excited to simply hang out with her tonight! Tomorrow my mom, sister and I are going to Gimli to visit one of my previous foster brothers, Tu Tu, who was adopted into a great family. It will be great seeing them again, too.

Viva Las Vegas!
Adios.
Have a great weekend!

A little taste of Heaven

2006-10-26T09:45:00.000-05:00

Last night I got lost in the worship and intercession flooding my living room from the prayer room in KC. It's always a little taste of Heaven.

I'm so enjoying the "smallness" of Sanctuary (www.sanctuaryhop.com) these days. I truly want to cherish these small, great, sometimes ugly but wonderful beginnings! I love what God is doing & I want so much more!

Update

2006-10-12T09:22:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD AND KRISTI! My sister and my dad share a birthday on October the 12th! Actually HAPPY BIRTHDAY to a number of people this month: Phil, Brian, Joel, Kristi, dad, Alexzandra and Nathan! ... if I missed anyone...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

We've had our first taste of snow the last few days. It's getting cold. I'm not ready for this cold winter season yet. I was enjoying the beautiful fall that we were having!

On a positive note, this is what I am excited about this winter: Being in my warm house and looking out the window at the beautiful snow glistening on the ground, decorating my house for Christmas, having stockings in the mantel, going skating at the forks, hot chocolate, eggnog, being with family & friends and, last but not least, celebrating the birth of JESUS! I'm excited that it's another season to enjoy God in...I'm working on my attitude at loving winter. This year has been my worst for not wanting it to come. My friend Bonnnie is in love with winter! She's been smiling non-stop ever since it started snowing. I want to be like her.

On Thanksgiving Monday I baked my first ever pumpkin. I baked that sucker for a good 2 hours, then I boiled it and then I blended it and now I have a number of cups of pumpkin in my freezer. I also baked my first real homemade pumpkin pie with homemade pie crust. I'm so proud. I'll try and post some pictures.

My computer died for a while. But it is now alive again.

Yesterday I went to my friend Becki's farewell bash. My beautiful friend Becki is going to New Zealand for 6 months and, dang, I'm going to miss her! I'm really hoping she is going to get a blog (hint, hint, Becki) so we can hear all of her adventurous stories and see some wild NZ pictures! God is doing amazing things in her life and I'm excited to see where she will be at in 6 months. God is good. I'm blessed to have a friend like Becki.

peace out. enjoy the snow.

2006-09-24T13:57:00.000-05:00

I went for a walk this afternoon to enjoy the beautiful weather (what an amazing September we're having!) and to get out of the house since I've only been out of it for a total of an hour or so this weekend.

Anyway, as I'm walking what do I find???
I'll give you 2 hints.
1. They open something
2. I lost them on Wednesday night.

Ding ding ding!! I found my keys! It was so amazing and so God because they were hidden in a little pile of leaves beside the sidewalk where Francesca first "introduced" herself to me! Woo WHOO!

I love when God reveals Himself even in the smallest things. I wasn't even looking for my keys and He simply gave them back. Thank you Jesus!

2006-09-21T10:42:00.000-05:00

Last night was my night at home. I wrote out a huge story about the events of my evening in detail but sometimes reading stories on blogs can be very long so I'll just summarize.

Got home. Read Bible. Thought it would be good to go for walk (6:00ish). Took mp3 player with good teaching on it, water and keys. Looong walk. Started to run and was chased by huge roaring dog named Francesca - twice. She never ate me. Ran a little longer and my mp3 player flew out of my pocket and almost hit a blue Mustang. Dang. Good thing it didn't. Got home. Reached for my keys - they were gone! Must have fallen out during my run. All of my roommates were gone and all the doors were locked. It was getting dark. Re-traced my steps searching for my keys in the dark. To no luck. While walking home I was bit by a dog. It didn't hurt too bad because he didn't chomp down...he just "mouthed" my leg. I could feel his mouth on my leg for a good ten minutes after that. Got home again. Decided I should take advantage of this opportunity and spend some good time with Jesus on my porch. I prayed and worshipped and got quite distracted and very cold. I ran to my neighbours house (9:45ish) and found refuge in a Mary Kay party until about 11 o'clock. I got home, went to bed without supper and slept well.

Note to self: Maybe next time I have a night at home I should stay at home.

2006-09-14T20:21:00.000-05:00

I love autumn. i love when the colours change. i love the warm weather with a slight breeze. i love the pumpkin spice lattes at Starbuck's. haa haa. i even love the smell of fall on the off chance that my allergies are not freaking out and I can actually breathe. it's wonderful!

I'm loving my home and my roommates! Kendra, Annie Marcia and I went to "Over the Hedge" at the cheapies last Saturday. It was so fun! I'm excited about spending this next year(s) with these amazing, fun and beautiful ladies!

Also, I'm in the process of "re-defining" how to spend my time. This is way harder than it sounds. It's a good process, though. My paradigms seem to be so tainted by my humanistic nature that I feel like I need to retrain my mind and heart with the perspective of eternal reality. How's that for a mouthful? How's that for a process?

2006-08-26T14:22:00.000-05:00

I'm on the hunt for a new blog template. This was the first one that caught my attention. I kept thinking "This world is not my home. This world is not my home. I don't want to be of this world." ...kind of suited it. But is it a little weird? A little freaky? Or does it work?

Anyway, life is good. It's been a while since I've posted. I've felt no need to say anything lately...

I thank God for my house daily. He has blessed me.
I thank God for my family daily. He has blessed me.
I thank God for saving me daily. HE HAS BLESSED ME!
I thank God for His revelation. HE HAS SAVED ME!

I'm reading The Heavenly Man right now. Thanks to Johan for letting me borrow it. If any of you don't know what this book is about....it's about the life of Brother Yun in China, his faith in God, his courage, strength and God's call on his life. You should read it if you haven't. This book has stirred my heart, challenged my faith and has left me sitting there with my mouth gaping open. I heard lots about this book before I read it but God's been speaking to me as I read through it. I've said a number of times before that I believe the only way I'll be able to stand torture or martyrdom is number 1) by the grace of God and number 2) by singing. I think I'm even more sure about this now.

Singing does something to my heart that nothing else does. It releases worship, thankfulness, humility, and it draws my heart closer to Jesus. As I sing my heart softens. I get revelation. This recipricated love relationship starts to happen. I feel His affection for me and my heart is stirred to sing. I see a glimpse of His beauty or glory, my heart is compelled to sing. I sing because I know of His lovingkindness and sovereignty, and I start to feel His affection and I see Him more clearly.

So picture this. You're in a dark, damp cell. You've been badly beaten. AND YOU START TO SING about the glory of God. About His beauty, holiness and lovingkindess! POW! That takes your heart to a totally different place!! Instead of going into self-pity or hatred (which are very relevant feelings at that moment, don't get me wrong)...but instead of going there, you turn your heart and focus on the One who loves you. You gaze upon His beauty. As you sing, your heart remembers that your home is not on this earth. Your home is in Heaven. You are made for eternity! You are made for this love affair with our Bridegroom King. And you know He is judge. You know that when Christ returns He will right all that is wrong. He will judge the living and the dead. And from that revelation, your heart is softened again. You begin to pray for those who have persecuted you. You know there destiny, as it stands, is not with Christ. Eternal seperation from Him. Hell. Compassion rises in your heart and you begin to pray for their salvation.

Singing brings my heart into alignment with God.

I still struggle with insecurity and distraction while singing, but this is my heart for it. This is what I am called to. I am called to sing of His glory and splendor. I am called to align my heart with His. To worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. To preach the good news of His salvation and love. To pray for His Kingdom to come and His will to be done. To live for Him. To love others the way He loves them.

I don't want to spend my time doing things for God and missing Him in the midst of it. My greatest fear would be to "do" lots and know Him little. I want to know Him more than anything. I want to stir my spirit (or pray that the Holy Spirit would stir my spirit) to action in my relationsip with Jesus. I am so inactive in pursuing Him and yet I've had a tiny glimpse of revelation of what reality truly is.

O God I ask that I would seek You first.

Our trip so far....

2006-07-28T12:07:00.000-05:00

Has been fantastic! It took Kristi, Joyska and I about 15 hours to get down to KC. That's a long time...there's lots of construction from Wpg to KC which seemed to cause quite a delay. But the trip down was fun, filled with many hilarious moments, quotes and lots of laughter! (check out Joyska's blog for the things that were said)

We got here late Monday, hit up the Prayer Room and then grabbed some grub.
On Tuesday we went downtown and had a prayer meeting with some of the homeless/poor people in the Bellerive hotel. This was the first glamorous residential hotel in Kansas City. It has hosted many amazing musicans and singers such as Billie Holiday, Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, Duke Ellington, etc. and the whole eight floor was a "home away from home" for the notorious Al Capone. OoO. This building has seen better days, but the history is evident. And now they're praising Jesus in it!

We also went to this same location to feed the homeless on Thursday afternoon. It's amazing to see the heart that some of these people have for the downtown people and area. Their vision is amazing! These people gaze into the face of Jesus and as they are doing so, they're catching His vision for the poor, widows and orphans. Jesus first, justice follows. I love it!

The prayer room here has been amazing, like always. I have realized how at home my heart feels in the place of worship. I am made to worship God Almighty. I am made to gaze upon His beauty. I'm made to be captivated by His love for me, fascinated by His beauty and Glory. He's incredible! The Throne Room (Rev 4) is fascinating!

It has also been so encouraging, challenging and inspiring (and just plain fun) to see some of the interns from last August when Christina and I came out. Man, they're amazing! I got to chat with one of the girls named Liz, and was blown away by the growth, vision, how God has been speaking to her and her love for her Bridegroom. I love it! Also, we almost had round 2 of mudd soccer last night. Liz and I had prayed for rain for the specific purpose of romping in the mudd....and rain it did. But there was no one to romp with. Maybe next time.

Today Kristi and I went into the prayer room this morning (first thing on the agenda every morning around 10:00) and then we drove down to the Plaza. We had lunch together at Panera and walked around. It's beautiful, huge and rich. We walked around and then drove back and now we're relaxing for a bit before we try and go into the prophecy rooms. I love being here with her! She's my favourite sister and I wouldn't trade her for anything!

I've really been missing Sanctuary these last few days. I love our house of prayer! I love being at IHOP in KC! It's amazing and the Presence is sweet...but I love the ownership that we have at Sanctuary. I love how God is preparing all of us, teaching us and how we're going hard after Him even with practically no resources and very few people. I'm jealous (in a good way) for this time!

I have pictures but am too lazy to post them right now...
I'll upload them when I don't have the prayer room calling my name ; )

hip hip horray!

2006-07-24T00:33:00.000-05:00

Today...in about 5.5 hours, I will be loading up the car and heading on a road trip with Kristi and Joyska! We're driving down to KC to enjoy 6 days of soaking, praying, playing, having girl time, having sweet sister time and enjoying the warmth. (I hear it's really hot this time of year : )

I'm really excited to hang out with Kristi. We've been SO blessed to have TWO sister vacations/trips this year! First, to Puerto Rico and now to Kansas City! YIPPEE!!

This past week was my first week as a part time employee at my job! It felt so weird to not work on Monday and Tuesday. It was totally foreign. I guess that's because my routine for the last three years has been Monday-Friday...9-5...I work. Now, I get to pray, study, drink Starbuck's (on Tuesdays ; )...and pray, read and study some more. I'm so excited! I think it will take a bit of time to actually sink in.

Now I am off work for the next two and a half weeks - yea vacation time - and I plan on spending my time with God, family and friends.

Time to go to bed.
later. gator.

One weding, One conversation and One step closer to my desires

2006-07-14T23:19:00.000-05:00

Today my best friend from grade 6 got married. Jennifer and her husband Jordan got married in Niverville at 5 pm this evening. She looked stunning in her gorgeous dress, flowing dark hair and beautiful veil. She looked so peaceful, content and genuinely happy.

Jenn and I both liked best friends in grade 6. We planned on double dating when we got older...and now she's all grow'd up and married! Jenn, I am so proud of you and amazed at where God has taken you! I pray God's richest blessings over your life, Jordan's life and your marriage together! Bless you guys! Keep going hard after God!

During the reception I got to sit with a fabulous friend of mine! I love this friend! I greatly respect and admire her and her passion for Jesus. We ended up talking about the End Times and soon enough almost the whole table of mennonites were involved. Yikes. I have no idea how this conversation began...but I think it was a God-designed conversation. I love when God takes over. Completely. It was so cool, humbling and stretching. I need to know more and more!

AND>>>>TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY WORKING FULL TIME AT MY JOB!!
I'm so excited about this next season! I'm taking my time and deliberately focusing on gazing, studying, worshipping and learning. YEA!

more later.

update

2006-07-07T23:10:00.000-05:00

Tonight I was hanging out with some cool kids and this girl started singing to me: "Stephanie's daddy loves her! Stephanie's daddy loves her!" First, I laughed. And then I thought how blessed I really am! As much as there have been some great and hard times with my dad, I do know that he loves me. I'm so thankful for my dad!

I went to my first baseball game of the year with my beautiful friend, Becki! If you haven't been to a game this year I highly recommend it! It's a great way to get out, have fun and not spend loads of money. Goldeyes won 5 nothing. It was sweet! Baseball is definitely one of my favourite games to play! As a kid I played back catcher, short stop and field... and i loved it!

AND, last but not least, this is the fabulous, wonderful, lovely couple that I am now living with. I am so excited and priveleged to be able to live with them for the next few weeks. I'm actually super excited about it! I can't tell you about all the great conversations and wacky dinner times we've had. Thank you kris and shane!

pack. clean. move. lather. rinse. repeat.

2006-06-24T00:30:00.000-05:00

I'm packing. cleaning. moving. painting.
It's hard work.
Ren and I carried a couch down our stairs and out of our house by ourselves tonight. No boys needed. We were proud!

Please pray that my move tomorrow goes well. That I would have a good, positive attitude and that my dad would be cool with moving my stuff. How did I accumulate all this stuff??? It's crazy! I know that the more I give, the less I hoard, the happier I am...yet I still hold onto my stuff. I realize that none of this "stuff" is eternal yet I have a really hard time parting with some of it. But, I know that if I did part with a good portion of this stuff I'd be happier because I wouldn't have as much. Weird how having less can SOMETIMES make me happier. (If that didn't make any sense please blame it on the fact that it's already morning and I'm strung out on "cleaning adrenaline")

Thank you for your prayers.
Now I am going to enjoy my last night at 521.

2006-06-17T09:49:00.000-05:00

"Change worlds. Shift paradigms. What else? When things get shaky, I'll lean on Jesus, my Beloved, and until then, I'll be building a relationship with Him so it's not awkward when I lean on him for support.

And, if we pray hard, things will happen. It's just invetible, providing we're pure. That's the real motivation: purity. If we're pure, wee can move mountains. It's as simple as that. So get some purity and call back in the morning."

I was blog snooping and found this "Mission Statement" on a brilliant kids blog from IHOP in Kansas City. He's young, not sure how young, but he's got loads of wisdom by the sounds of it!

2006-06-15T23:43:00.000-05:00

WHO ARE WE TO THINK WE ARE BIGGER THAN GOD? TO THINK WE KNOW BETTER THAN HIM?
THIS GENERATION NEEDS A REVELATION OF WHO GOD IS. WE HAVE SUCH A LOW VIEW OF GOD THAT WE DON'T EVEN THINK HE SEES WHAT WE DO...OR EVEN CARES. WE SEEM TO PUT GOD IN A BOX OF OUR OWN MISCONCEPTIONS, PLACE HIM UNDER OUR BEDS AND LEAVE HIM THERE UNTIL IT SUITS OUR FANCY TO ASK THINGS OF HIM.

i'm frustrated.
i'm tired.
and am heart-broken about my generation.
b4 I continue, I must sleep.

Oh, and another question: What is reality?
I don't ask that out of a lost plea for someone to tell me what reality is...I ask that to stir my heart to search out God to show me reality...what is God's reality? There's more than meets the eye. There's something bigger, wider, deeper, greater, beautiful, terrifying...than we realize. He is God. We are man. And yet, He's lovesick over me!

Rain, rain, rain...please, please stay!

2006-06-12T22:56:00.000-05:00

Tonight was a mental health night. I was supposed to be packing like crazy but instead I packed a little bit and had a lot of good fun : )

As I was trying to organize my room (on the verge of packing), I saw this awesome sunset out my window. It looked beautiful and clear outside but randomly there would be a mysterious peel of thunder... I went outside to take some pictures (see if there were any cool doors to photograph...I'm on the lookout) and, to my surprise and pleasure, I met a girl from my drama class in high school. It was great to chat with her, see where she's at and tell her about Sanctuary and what's going on in my life. I got home just as the huge rain drops started falling!

I ended up dancing in the rain with my three roomies who live in the downstairs house. We were squeeling, dancing, jumping, laughing and dancing some more. The rain was the perfect temperature - cool and crisp drops - so refreshing! I love the rain. I love thunder and lightening. It felt so good to be soaked to the bone. To be laughing so hard! And to have friends who are just as crazy!

I am blessed.
Thank you Jesus.

AND>>> SPEAKING OF BLESSED>>> HAPPY 2nd ANNIVERSARY KRISTI AND SHANE!!! I love you and I pray for many, many more great years of waking up next to each other!

Long weekend joys:

2006-05-23T14:56:00.000-05:00

On Friday I had the privilege of spending the evening with an amazing couple and their handsome new baby boy! It was awesome sharing some grub and hanging out with you Corrie and Johan! You guys are such a blessing and I pray that you would have an amazing time watching your beautiful young man grow up!

On Saturday I went to a pig roast in the Bluemenort area. It was so great! The hospitality, friendliness, fun, community and conversations were fantastic! And the pig was amazing! Thank you Phil and Tricia!

On Sunday we celebrated my grandma's 75th birthday! It was great to be able to see her, wish her a happy birthday and chat with some family members. My grandma had a stroke about 4 years ago (ish) and her health seems to be steadily declining. I pray that she would learn much, rest much, know God more and enjoy herself, her family and her Maker until the day that she goes Home to be with Him. That will be a sad day for my mom, her siblings and myself...but a wonderful day for her!

On a lighter note, I had sushi for the first time last night. I really enjoyed myself! (Shane, I will definitely go for Sushi with you sometime!) The best and worst part of the whole scenario was the fact that we were laughing so hard (Christina and I specifically) as we were shoving mounds of rice, seaweed and raw fish mixed with flavors and such down our throats, that we swallowed more air than food and ended up feeling a little bit sick by the end of it.

Today I got an email from a friend of mine who's currently in Africa doing some mission work...she wrote about a church out there who fasts and prays every Tuesday from 9 a.m. till 4 p.m. I love hearing that there are people across the world fasting and praying and seeking God on Tuesdays, too. What an encouragement!

We got the house!!

2006-05-07T13:14:00.000-05:00

I found out a day after I handed in the applications and money that we officially have the house!! Woo hooo! We get position of this sweet residence on August the 1st. The landlord, Ted, seemed just as excited as myself...he's happy to have "such good tennants"...yea! This house has such a sweet layout. Every bedroom is at the opposite end of the house. One bedroom is at the very front - it's gorgeous with a french door, massive window looking into our beautiful front yard, stained glass, etc. The second bedroom is at the far back - it was an addition, it's a great size and away from the hustle and bustle (this one is mine) and the bedroom in the basement has a beautiful wood wall, 2 closets and a nice window. Did I mention our living room and dining room are gorgeous? We have some stained glass in our living room, a fire place that doesn't work but has a pretty sweet mantel and french doors. Our Dining room has a beautiful bay window with lots of sunlight pouring in and a french door, too. The Lord is so good! I'm so excited!!

*JOYSKA THERE IS DEFINITELY ROOM FOR YOU TO STAY WITH US!! COME ANYTIME!! I would love to have you!!*

Other news...I went to a gorgeous wedding last night. My friends 19 year old sister got married and it was incredible. Her dad, who's a pastor, married them and it was so sweet! These kids are going to have a great marriage and a great life together. I pray God's richest blessings over the lives, marriage and, someday, children. Yea!

My brother and his friend, Craig, did a fantastic job at their gig yesterday! I was so impressed. I was so proud seeing Shaun up on stage SINGING AND PLAYING GUITAR! It's so weird! Even one year ago that wasn't a possibility! Way to go Shaun! You guys did awesome!

I've been falling more and more in love with my guitar these days. I had to practice some good self control a few days ago to not leave work early and go home to play my guitar - it was weird! I'm not very good yet (yet being the key word) but I love playing...(alone in my room)...

Update

2006-05-05T15:26:00.000-05:00

My brother got a job. And a gig. He's opening for some music fest thing tomorrow. I'm so proud of my little not-so-little brother! Yea Shaun!

Tomorrow I'm going to my friend Becki's sisters wedding. Lindsay and Kris are getting married and it's going to be so fun to participate in the celebration! She's 19...I'm 21....it's crazy! I can't imagine having been married for 2 years already... I pray God's richest blessings over the marriage and lives! I love the Bergen family! They're like...well...family!

On the house front - I handed in my application, deposit and three other amazing women's applications for a beautiful home!! And the rent is cheap! I'm really excited. I'm really praying that we get approved from this rental agency - I don't see why not - and that moving/transition goes great! These women are/seem (I don't know them all very well) really AWESOME! I'm very excited about getting to know them more. Once we move in (hee hee), I think a house warming party is in order!

There is no longer a man sleeping on my porch

2006-04-22T21:02:00.000-05:00

The police arrived early this morning around 1 a.m. They had seen this gentleman around before and said that he's non-violent, which made me feel better. They say that this sort of thing happens when the weather starts getting nicer.

When the cops got here they woke up the guy and asked him to leave. He sat up, started folding the blanket he was using (the one we keep on our couch) and he left without a fuss. Ahh...sweet...

So the drama of the night is over. Part of me doesn't want this man to come back. Part of me kinda hopes that he comes to sleep on our couch after everyone in the house is in bed and that leaves before anyone in the house wakes up because I feel sad for this guy. I would love to know that he has a place to sleep at night. I just don't want a strange intoxicated man sleeping at my doorstep. Lord, please provide for him.

There is a man sleeping on my porch.

2006-04-22T00:03:00.000-05:00

Tonight a man wandered onto my porch while my roommate was sitting on our steps. He walked right past her and stood on our porch smoking his joint. I walked out of our house seconds later and asked him what he was doing. He said that he just wanted to sit on our couch. We ended up asking him to leave and he slowly (and somewhat pleasantly) stumbled down our steps.

Five minutes later this inebriated/high man came stumbling back only to see that we were still on the porch...he then left again. (It was still light outside at this point)

I went outside to get something at around 11:30 tonight and there was a figure lying on the couch on our porch with his head covered by our blanket, snoring. I went back inside, told the rest of the ladies and we decided to call the cops to see if someone could pick him up and bring him to detox; give him a place to sleep and get sober.

He seems to feel that he has some "right" to sleep here. He's started making this a routine. My roomies found him sleeping there two nights ago with the end of a joint lying on the ground. This makes me worried because a lot of my roomies come home late at night...and there's a strange, intoxicated man cutting some zzz's on our front steps.

Part of my heart is yelling "have compassion!" and the other part is screaming (a little more loudly than the first part) "KEEP YOUR BOUNDARIES!" What do you do when a strange, inebriated man is sleeping on your porch? I'm guessing he's got nowhere else to go... He's drunk (you can smell and see) and he was smoking a joint. I'm not scared because he seemed pleasant enough and I don't feel threatened, so to speak. But I do feel like he's invading my "safe space". This is my home, the place where I can put my feet up and not worry. This is the place that I want to be comfortable in and feel safe at all times. I want to be able to sit on my couch and not worry about having to kick someone who's drunk off of it. It's that constant wrestle of justice/mercy and boundaries all over again. Part of me wants to sit and talk with him about where he's at, how he got here...why he has nowhere else to go. My compassionate side would love to feed him and give him a place to sleep. Part of me doesn't want to have to deal with this. I want him to go away and not come back. It's not safe or good for a strange man to be sleeping on my porch, especially because there are 7 women who live in this house. Argh!

One of my biggest wrestles with justice/mercy is boundaries. And the fact that I'm a woman. I once took two men out for coffee and told them about Jesus and prayed for them. I ended up having to leave because one of the men started stroking my hand. It was not appropriate and made me completely uncomfortable. My heart desires to be able to reach these men, these people. But I'm not sure if it's fear, wisdom, boundaries or what that makes me keep my distance?!?

God I ask that you would be with this man. You know where he's been, You know where he's at and You know where he's going. I ask that You would give him a hope and a future. I ask that he would come to know you! Would you provide a house, a place to sleep and eat, a safe place for this gentleman. Amen.

2006-04-19T22:41:00.001-05:00

...So we looked at the house, drooled a bit and then continued on our way...
However, that's not all to the story of the beautiful house. Oh no.
The owner of the house, Ted, happened to mention another house that was up for rent...when I need it to be...it's cheaper...it looks beauty-full...it could be HOME...not just a house. I'm done with moving. I want to "settle" into a home. If I'm going to be here for a while (not sure how long a while is) I want to be settled and at home - in the spirit and physical. I know that this is all that I've been talking about on this blog lately (at least, that's what it feels like)...hopefully soon it'll be over with.

I was reading in Numbers today and came across a number things (haa haa - punn intended!)...including this:

"(Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.)"

&

"When a prophet of the Lord is among you, I reveal myself to him in visions, I speak to him in dreams. But this is not true of my servant Moses; he is faithful in all my house. With him I speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the Lord. Why then were you not afrad to seak against my servant Moses?"

I really want to learn true humility. And at the same time I'm afraid of it. Our society has such a twisted view of what true humility is. But for Moses to have been called "more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth"...is saying something! I want to hear the voice of the Lord clearly. I want to see Him face to face. I will see Him face to face - if not now, then when He comes back!! I didn't focus on the cross, on the resurrection and on what it truly means as much as I would have liked this Easter. I think I may need to dwell upon it some more. I want to live out of the revelation of what Christ has done for me and how that effects my past, present and future.

The speaker in KC on Saturday night explained what it means to pick up your cross daily in a way that I had never heard before! It was life/mind changing! I always thought that picking up my cross kind of meant that I was picking up the cross of Christ. Never would I be able to carry the cross of Christ. The burden is too great. (I will never be able to have the right words to describe this so if it makes no sense...sorry) Jesus died so that God would once again have access to humanity. Through the blood of Christ we are made HOLY, PURE before the Living God. He now has access to our hearts, we are now worthy because of Jesus. (That in itself is incredible!) Soo...to make a long sermon short...as I search for the words...picking up our cross daily means coming before God and saying "Take all of me. Every part! Have complete access to every part of my mind, my heart, my soul, my spirit!" It means dying to self and allowing the Spirit of God fill every part of me completely. This understanding of what it means to pick up my cross daily is much more intimate, more painful, more possible, more piercing, more of a reality, more true and more holy. It scares me even more than the picture I had of carrying my cross, of working for my redemption daily. This understanding means that I cannot carry my own cross. I can only receive the work done for me by Jesus. I can only open myself up to God completely. For me, I see the utter ruin of myself. When I wake up in the morning, it means that I say yes to God completely filling me and I say no to my humanity. In a holy, God designed life of wholehearted abandonment. I see this...and I have a long way to go to get there...but I want to get there...

We're Back!

2006-04-18T09:39:00.000-05:00

The trip to KC was wonderful!

The prayer room came to life for me. God spoke many things - confirmation, encouragement...

I love seeing my friend, Joyska, and her funny roommates! Thank you, Joyska, for letting me stay with you - you are soo generous!

(I gotta makes this quick)

If you guys could pray today, I am going to go and look at "the beautiful house I've been praying for" this evening. I called the guy up yesterday and a a few ladies and I are going to look at it and see if he wants us to live in his "beautiful house that I've been praying for"...there are a few things that would have to be "worked out" before we could move there...and it would have to be GOD for it to work out... I just really hate being in limbo about where I live. I want to find a place that I will love and call home for more than 5 months at a time...

I'll keep you posted.

2006-04-13T18:43:00.000-05:00

We arrived in Kansas City this morning safe and a little sickly. It was a pretty good trip down, besides the sickness in the form of the flu that overtook me. We took shifts during the night and, even with the detour in Canada and Northern USA, we arrived here at about 8:30ish.

We got here, spent some time in the prayer room, napped, didn't eat at all, was sick, and ended up in the healing rooms and, PRAISE THE LORD, I'm feeling way better!! I was so sick that I felt I was about to faint (hello black spells) and even lost my hearing for about 2 minutes...that's only happened to me once before. Makes me wonder....

Then I got to spend some good QT in the prayer room.

It's about 91 degrees F...HOT! I think that would be about plus 30 or so. Yea for summer!

Please pray that sickness stays far, far away from us. That we have some divine appointments, that we're refreshed and encouraged and that we can encourage. Please also pray for safety on the way home.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

Kansas City Here I Come!!

2006-04-11T23:15:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I leave for Kansas with my friends Joel and Nathan. I'm really excited!!
Please pray for protection and safety for the ride to and from Kansas. We have to take a few detours because of flooding, etc.

It's going to be so good to sit and soak in the prayer room! I plan on spending most of my time seeking, soaking, praying and worshipping. Ahh what more could you ask for on vacation?

Gotta run. It's time to sleep...we'll be driving straight thru the night so I won't be getting a lot of shut eye in the next day or two.

constant wrestle

2006-03-29T16:00:00.000-06:00

"Silver and gold have I none
but all that I have I give thee
In the Name of Jesus Christ
of Nazareth rise up and walk!
He went walking and leaping and praising God!
Walking and leaping and praising God!
In the Name of Jesus Christ
of Nazareth rise up and walk!"

This is a song from the Donut Man. I loved him as a kid!

I thought of this song as I was walking down Portage Avenue on my lunch break today. I was carrying three Tim Horton's coffee's (or something of the like) and about every ten steps there was someone asking for money, holding out their hat, or simply in need. As I would walk by they would ask for money and I would smile and say "I'm sorry...have a good day....God bless..."

I was carrying the Timmy's back to work for myself and my co-workers. These men that were asking for money knew that I probably had a few cents in my pocket or that I could give them a coffee or somehow help them out. I knew that I had to get to work on time, that I had bought these coffee's specifically for my co-workers and that I was once again caught in this tension of giving-loving-serving. Arg. I get so frustrated. This is a never-ending struggle.

I got to thinking about what giving, loving, serving, etc. really means. The only way that I can truly give-love-serve is by the grace and love of Jesus overflowing through me. Sure I can give them money and walk away. Give them some food and walk away. But what is the point? Yes, I know there is merit to giving the hungry food, Jesus tells us to do that. But when are we going to stop scratching the surface of the issue and actually solve the issues? We need GOD to solve the issues!

I wanted so badly to sit down beside the physically dirty, intoxicated man asking for money and say to him, "I don't have any money to give you, I don't have any food to give you, but I know Him who can set you free." And even as I type these words I feel the uneasiness of how cliche that sounds. "I know Jesus and he will solve all of your problems". Yes, it is true that I do know Jesus and that He can solve all of our problems, but it's also true that just by saying YES to Jesus does not mean that all of your problems will disappear. Now, you'll just have the grace, strength, love, and hope to get through and deal with all of the issues that you're currently stuck in. Accepting Jesus as your Savior is a choice just like getting set free from your addictions is a choice. You have to say NO to the addictions. But it takes God to truly heal, to truly set you free.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I just know that I'm tired of trying to solve peoples problems. I'm tired of scratching the surface of what it means to love and to serve others. I'm tired of feeling guilty when I don't give them my money or food or time.

Holy Spirit we need you! You are the answer, God! Only you can set people free. Only you can heal completely. I ask for signs and wonders in this city. That you would change the face of justice. That justice would be your Holy Spirit alive and at work in our city. That it would be us, your servants, who take the time to say "silver and gold have I none...but I HAVE JESUS!" I ask that we would have the faith to know that you can heal people. That you can raise the dead. That you have power over the darkness in this city. Change the face of justice so that we know we can do nothing. Fill us with your power. Fill us with your love for others. I know that the only way I can ever do this thing called justice is if I'm found on my face before the Almighty. It is from spending time with my Savior that I will become like Jesus, the greatest Servant of all. It is by ASKING for His Holy Spirit to dwell in me and to overflow into all that I say and do that I'll ever be able to speak His truth like a piercing arrow. I know that it is only when I ask of Him, that I'll see great and wonderous signs. And that others will see Him, too, and come to the knowledge of who He is.

In order to love, I need the Love of Jesus.
In order to love others, I need to love myself first.
In order to love myself, I need to know the affections that the Uncreated God of the Universe has for me.
In order to know His affections, I need to spend time with Him.
In order to see true miracles happen, I need to ask for them.
In order to serve, I need to know how Jesus served. (Reading the Word)
In order to go deeper and deeper in my relationship with God, I need to wrestle through these struggles and keep asking God what He's saying in the midst of it. I need God to break my heart with the things that break His heart. I need to be completely obedient to Him.

Today I fell in love.

2006-03-28T11:15:00.000-06:00

It's only 9:30 in the morning and I am swooning!

He is sooo perfect. So handsome...beautiful, even. He's so peaceful. He's so warm and comforting. He's elegant. He's stable. He's rich. He's built on a good foundation. He's available (as of May 1st) and He's affordable.

"He" is my dream house down the street that I have fallen in love with and have been praying about for the last few weeks. Every time that I walk by it (which is about twice a day), I pray that God would give the owner of that home revelation that he needs to give me that house ; ) (hee hee).

As I was walking by this morning I saw the owner coming out of the house and I mentioned to him that he had a beautiful home. He invited me in for the grand tour and I have officially fallen in love!! The only down side is that he's not selling. But he is RENTING out this gorgeous house. And, need I repeat, it is gorgeous!

And here enfolds my dilema:

I have been thinking/dreaming about buying a house over the last few days. I have been paying rent for almost three years now and it seems that I'm throwing my money away every month. Buying a house would be good because I would be investing in something and I could build up equity.

Buying a house would also mean a crap-load of responsibility. It would mean that I would probably live in a more sketchy area of the city because I couldn't afford anything in a good area and if anything would go wrong, I'd have no idea what to do. It kinda freaks me out and I have always wanted to buy a house with someone - a.k.a my husband. It feels somewhat lonely and daunting buying one on my own. I also know that there's the possibility that I may never get married and so waiting for "someone" to buy a home with is ridiculous.

Renting means that I'm gaining nothing from giving my money away...but a place to live. And that is important! Many people pay rent for their entire lives. And when I think about eternity, paying rent or not owning a house is no biggy. There is less stress about renting and having a landlord then being the landlord.

However, I have wanted to live alone for quite some time. I like the freedom to do what I want when I want; to strum the wrong chords on my guitar with freedom, to pray loudly at 4:00 a.m., etc. Maybe I have some control issues that I need to deal with?? These issues are stretched when living in community because it's all about compromise. Maybe they should be stretched, maybe they don't have to be. Renting a bachelor would be about as much as renting this gorgeous home! Buying a house would mean that I would need a renter(s).

Renting THIS house (that I have fallen in love with!) would mean many things....I would be living with people, I would have a gorgeous, clean, new home, I would be paying quite a bit in rent and I would live in a great area. I could still walk to work and busing is pretty good. Paying more for rent may be totally worth it!

So I feel like I'm in a valley of decision making. I have felt this constant need to "move" over the last year. I've lived in three different places and will more than likely be moving in the next few months. I need wisdom. If there's one thing I want - above all else - it is to be at the centre of God's will. In all things, even the little things. So please pray that I would have God's wisdom. If it's time for me to buy a house, that God would provide THE house, the money and the confidence. If God is cool with me moving into this beautiful home that I have fallen in love with, that he would provide the right roomates and the security to do that, as well. I already have a "heads up" because the owner is not advertising for a while because the suite isn't quite finished. He gave me his number to call about renting). If God wants me to live on my own, that I would be able to find a good, affordable bachelor. (They can range between 4-6 hundred) If God has a completely different idea, that He would reveal that to me. Also, that I would be able to discern what I desire in this and how it fits into God's plan.

If you have any words of wisdom or get any revelation, please let me know. And now, it is time to work.

And, Jesus, would you please provide Sanctuary with a home. Bless you guys!

a Sanctuary for You

2006-03-24T09:54:00.000-06:00

I woke up with this song in my head this morning. (I'm not sure if these are even the right words...)

Lord Prepare me
To be a Sanctuary
Pure and Holy
Tried and True
With Thanksgiving
I'll be a Living
Sanctuary
For You

This is my prayer, Lord. To be a dwelling place for Your Spirit. To be Pure and Holy, Tried and True. That I would live a life that is pleasing and honoring to you. To be worthy to be called Your Own, Your Bride. To be tested - shaken - and found standing unoffended in Your Grace. Thank you for Your Grace. I ask that it would be my deepest desire, pleasure...delight...to be a living sacrifice. For you, it is no sacrifice. You're my reward - nothing can compare! I give You all of me (and I don't even know what that all means).

Slowly I'm finding out what God has called me to. Slowly He's opening my eyes, He's enlightening my heart, He's drawing me out - I'm finding out what I was made for. God is revealing the desires of my heart, the lasting and eternal desires. He is working on the issues of my heart that keep me stumbling: The fear, the pride, the jealousy,... Slowly He's refining me.

I've been having a hard time putting words to what's been going on in my life over the last few months. If I've been silent, awkward or different it's because I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling, what God's doing and how I am to live. God's been rooting me and uprooting me. The last few months have been both painful and beautiful. I have chosen to give myself to Him completely. I know I will stumble, fall and He will pick me up again. And again. But I say 'yes' to this process.

This may sound radical - good! I want to live radically.
This made sound prideful - that is not how I mean this! We all have the invitation to seek Him. It is the greatest joy of God when His people desire Him. This is for everyone, not just for some.

This means that I'm trying to give God my time, my energy, my money, my dreams, my everything - because I WANT TO.

2006-03-22T13:56:00.000-06:00

I've been tagged:

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD:

1. Respite worker for Child and Family Services/ Baby-sitter for my foster siblings.
2. Twice I was a "Cleaner of Big Businesses" (for lack of a better term or title) for a friend of mine who was in need of some help
3. Reception/Admin/Tech at Winnipeg Hearing Centres
4. ???? I guess I haven't lived long enough to have held four jobs...or I'm just loyal to the jobs I do have and stay there for years at a time....

FOUR MOVIES/SHOWS I'VE BEEN ADDICTED TO:

1. Full House (as a child)
2. CSI (high school)
3. CTV News (high school)
4. Amazing Race (Currently)

FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED:

1. Mitchell, MB (2 different places)
2. New Bothwell, MB
3. St. Norbert (MB)
4. Winnipeg, MB (Multiple residences)

FOUR COUNTRIES I WOULD LIKE TO VISIT:

1. Israel
2. Ireland/Scotland/England (let's just say EUROPE)
3. Africa (any country on this contenet)
4. Anywhere in South America

FOUR POPULAR FALSE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME:
(depends on who is assuming)

1. that I'm always happy (I am happy quite often, but I can be sad, tired, angry, etc.)
2. That I don't drive...I do, I just don't have a vehicle so it's Transit for me!
3. ...this is hard...I have no idea what you guys falsely assume about me??
4.

FOUR PEOPLE I LOOK LIKE (according to some people):

1. My sister
2. My mom
3. Julia Styles
4. Geena Davis

FOUR THINGS (I HOPE) TO DO BEFORE I DIE:

1. Learn to play my new guitar really well
2. Travel more, see Nations come to Christ
3. Learn to love well
4. Hear the audible voice of the Lord and live in FULLNESS!

PEOPLE I TAG NEXT:

1. Marcia
2. Joel
3. Ren
4. Shaun

I've been having weird dreams lately. When I can sleep, that is. I never really have issues with sleeping until the past few days. Now I lay there half praying and half being frustrated.

Anyway, my dreams: I dreamt that I won over a million dollars in Tim Horton's Roll Up the Rim. Everyone was allowed to call a toll free number for one chance of winning in Roll Up the Rim. The receptionist/operator would roll up a Tim's cup and let you know if you won or if you got a "play again". So I called this toll free number, the operator rolled up the rim and said that I had won a million dollars. It was either one mill or six mill...either way, I was really excited! I started thinking about all that I was going to do with that money....

If in reality I won a mill I would:
-give some away (family, friends, charity, SHOP)
-travel the world
-work part time (if that) and PRAY
-buy a house, fix it up and make it mine
-buy a vehicle
-buy a good sound system for SHOP (maybe throw a building in there ; )
-put some in savings
...I don't know how much all that would cost...but it would be fun!

Just for the sake of dreaming...what would you do with a million dollars?

Last night I dreamt that I quit my job at WHC to work part time at a grungy restaurant and pray in the House of Prayer. Well, I missed my job so much that I would sneak back to work and hide in my work place just so I could be around my co-workers. Bizarre. I really wanted to work part time at my receptionist instead of at the restaurant.

Well, that's about it for now. Ta Ta.

HAPPY St. Patricks DAY!!!

2006-03-17T09:23:00.000-06:00

Shield & Confessions of St. Patrick

I bind unto myself today the strong name of the trinity,
by invocation of the same, the Three in One, the One in Three.

I bind this day to me forever by power of faith Christ's incarnation,
his baptism in the Jordan river, his death on the cross for my salvation;
his bursting from the spiced tomb, his riding up the heavenly way,
his coming at the day of doom I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself today the power of God to hold and lead,
his eye to watch, his might to stay, his ear to harken to my need,
the wisdom of my God to teach, his hand to guide, his shield to ward,
the Word of God to give me speech, his heavenly host to be my guard.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me;
Christ to comfort and restore me;
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the name, the strong name of the Trinity,
by invocation of the same, the Three in One, and One in Three,
of whom all nature hath creation, eternal Father, Spirit, Word;
praise to the God of my salvation, salvation is of Christ the Lord!

(The words above are attributed to Patrick, but may not be written by him. It is found in many variations. Some leave out the middle section, some have only the middle section, and some are more or less like what you see here. This version is an example that contains all the verses that are normally associated with the shield, which is also sometimes called the Breastplate of St. Patrick.)

2006-03-13T19:29:00.000-06:00

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers...let us not love with words or tongue but in actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." I John 3:16,18-20

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him." I John 5:14&15

Jesus Christ is the highest standard of love. His love evokes both joy and fear in my heart. It's a consuming love; He's a consuming fire. His love will leave me with nothing of myself, ruined for anything less than Him. He is exactly what I need.

Merry, Merry in March!

2006-03-07T22:14:00.000-06:00

This past weekend was spent at Polo Park's Canad Inn's hotel with my awesome family! Christmas in March is the way to go! It's nice to have a weekend away...Here are some pics of our stay...

Us kids in the pool after shootin' down the waterslide!

The gangsta siblings. For those of you who don't know Kristi, Shaun and I are gangsta's. Cool, real gangsta's do facials. Did you know that?

Our whole family (minus the smart Farrow) did foot scrubs and facials. We slathered green goop on our faces and exfoliating beads on our feet. It was good bonding times in the bathroom. I have a special family : ) I really appreciate our time together!

We had an incredible meal at Red Lobster. Great food, great conversation, great people.

I love the holiday traditions. I love my family.

Friday marked the 2nd year anniversary of a dear friends death. I've been praying for his famiy. Growing up with them was like having a second family. Realizing that Adam's been gone for two years was crazy. It doesn't seem that long, and yet if feels like forever. This year was different, however...there doesn't seem to be as much heart ache....the memories are coming back to colour and I'm so thankful for the time that I was able to spend with him, the memories that I was blessed to make with him. Thank you, Jesus, for the impact Adam had on my life. Please be with his family with each passing day, each memory and every year that brings such blessings and trials. Amen.

This weekend finished off really nicely with a trip to Altona, MB. An amazing group of people whom I like ended up going to a church out there...we prayed, worshipped, danced, encouraged and were blessed. I love seeing what God is doing in the mennonite communities in Southern Manitoba. I'm really excited to see what He's got planned for this generation!! Come Lord Jesus Come. Bless all of the different churches, cultures, ways of life, ways of expression....would we learn that true unity is one heart and mind and body saying YES to YOU! Would we be holy abandoned to Your call. Would we beckon You to come! The Spirit and the Bride say come!

O the Memories!

2006-03-02T23:48:00.000-06:00

This weekend my family and I (Mom, Kristi, Shane, Shaun and I) are going to a hotel together for Christmas! I know, it's a bit late.

When we were kids our parents would take us three kids to Garden City Inn for the weekend as a part of our Christmas presents. It was one of my favourite parts about Christmas; being together as a family, the waterslides, tea parties at the bottom of the pool with my sister, weekend-long sleepovers, the "new" feeling hotels give you, yummy restaurant food/buffets and all the amazing memories. It's been a while since we've been in a hotel all together.

I'm praying that this will be a great time of hanging out with my awesome family. That good memories would be made and that we would love each other. All weekend long! I'm really pumped : )

Have a great weekend everyone!

i have so much to say.

2006-03-01T20:57:00.000-06:00

but i don't really feel like sharing.
so...this has been on my mind:

-joy
-work
-eyes to see His reality
-singing
-i've been a little sick, crappy
-time and lackthereof
-once again **check out www.facedown40.com**
-peace-out-good-night

aww #2

2006-02-24T22:36:00.000-06:00

I went on a date tonight. With my friend Christina. For my birthday. And I was blessed.

We ate at Ichiban (spelling?!). They make all of the food, incredible food, in front of you. On a huge grill. Fire. Muhhaaha. The chef kept throwing things. He wanted to throw a knife at me. Because it was my birthday ; )

Then we went to the Casino on McPhillips. AKA: Hell. Wow, it's depressing in there. But they had a grandeur staircase. We didn't stay long. We didn't spend any money.

We picked up the most amazing Italian desserts from a place called Goodies on Ellice. It was amazing! I love Goodies!

Then, my personal favourite, we went to the AIRPORT to watch the planes come and and fly out. We talked, ate dessert and drank yummy Timmy's.

Thank you, Christina! I'm so blessed and I loved our birthday date tonight!!! I'm so happy you're in my life! Could I ask for more!?!? Really - I am truly blessed!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BECKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-23T16:49:00.000-06:00

Today is my awesome friend Becki's 21st birthday! She's awesome and I'm excited about the adventure she's on! HAPPY 21, BECKI!

Today I went to the chiropractor. Yesterday she took x-rays of my back. Yikes. My back needs some help. My neck is straight. This sounds good and normal but your neck is supposed to have a ) shape to it. But mine is simply straight. No ). If you could pray for alignment and healing. That would be great! I also have some hip issues in there, too. I'm also a little wary of going to the chiropractor and having them crack my body in crazy places. It's kinda scary.

Praise Jesus for health insurance!!!

Tonight is housegroup. I'm pumped about getting my mind blown by God. Weekly. Daily. It's awesome!

Have a great February 23rd everyone!

Awww!!!

2006-02-21T14:06:00.000-06:00

I got back from my lunch break today to find flowers waiting to be opened on my desk!! My friend Becki bought me flowers for my birthday!! The card said "Because we're women and it's our birthdays!" (which is what I told her a few weeks ago) Becki's 21st birthday is on Feb 23rd.

I feel so blessed! Thank you, Becki!

Birthday blessings!

2006-02-19T22:45:00.000-06:00

Yesterday my sister threw me a birthday day. It was fabulous! She picked me up just before 10:30 and brought me to her house for a lovely breakfast of waffles, white sauce and berries. It was amazing!

I enjoyed every single bite of it!

Then Kristi and I headed off to YMCA to do Aquafits. Pretty much it's an aerobics class in the water. It's better for your joints and muscles. We usually love our weekly aquafits class but this week was frustrating. We both couldn't keep our dang shoulders out of the water...Supposedly it means we have to much muscle mass. : )

After our exercises were done, we headed off to see Pride and Prejudice at the cheap seats. It was a good movie. I had a dream the night before that I got married and this just fueled my love for love. ahh. What a classic chick flick. The best type of movies to watch with your sister.

After this we headed off to Kristi's Spa. In the comfort of her very own bathroom. We had foot scrubs while drinking chocolate milk and eating a carmel roll/cinnamin bun. Mmm. Then we painted each others toes. We now have very beautiful toes and soft feet.

Then we headed off to Red Lobster for an incredible meal together! I like it there! I think I can count on one hand how many times I've been, but everytime I do go I'm impressed. There bahumma momma (totally wrong spelling!) drink was the best EVER!! After eating we decided to go back to Kristi's to "gather ourselves" and decide what to do next. This should have been a warning in and of itself...it's just the two of us on this date...who else do we need to gather????

Well, low and behold when the door to Kristi and Shane's apartment was opened to my surprise many people whom I love said "SURPRISE!" And, dang, surprised I was! Thank you to everyone who came to hang out on Saturday night. You are all such a blessing in my life. I'm pumped about this next year, what it will hold, and getting to know each of you better. Thank you to Kristi and Shane for planning and hosting a surprise bash! Kristi, you made my day!

And that was the official end to my 21st birthday celebration!

SURPRISED???

2006-02-18T23:01:00.000-06:00

Heck yes!!
Okay guys, you got me! Thanks for coming.
Kristi, you're the bomb, baby! Best sister ever! Thanks for all the planning.

Official post about my birthday party when I'm not so party-pooped.

2006-02-17T12:50:00.000-06:00

Today has been such a good, weird day.
I got a call at work from a guy doing some survey. We ended up talking about church, missions and health. It was so interesting. I got to share about the Vineyard, Sanctuary and my desire to do missions. He goes to Springs and is apart of something called Usana. (Re: Supplements, nutrition and health) Again, interesting.

Then I prayed for my boss vai e-mail. That made my day!!!

Check out www.facedown40.com.
Pray and Fast - it works!

Tomorrow my sister is taking me out for my birthday. I'm very excited because part of it is a surprise. I love surprises!

God what are you up to?

21 years ago...

2006-02-13T14:53:00.000-06:00

...on a blustery, winter morning at 6:45, on my mom's 28th birthday, I was born. Now here I am at 21, and she's 49 years old. Man, does time fly by! I love sharing a birthday with my mom! It's such a joy to share a special day with someone I love so much!

Summary of year 20:
Last year I spent my birthday in Kansas City. It was a great, mind shaking, heart shifting, crazy, awesome way to spend a birthday - and with such a great people, too! The rest of this past year has been such a journey, a learning experience, undeniably God-encountering, joy-filled, fire-filled, hard, beautiful and stretching year. I can't believe where God has (and is) taking me! I can't believe that a year ago I caught fire! (Actually, I can't remember where I was on my actual birthday...I spent the whole week celebrating and this part of it just seems to stick out)

This 20th year I...
*I saw my first birth - it was incredible!
*I went on some sweet road trips
*I went on my first, real winter vacation.
*I lived in three different houses. (I'm done with moving for a while)
*I went on my first limo ride (x2)
*I saw Niagra Falls for the first time - it's gorgeous...especially at night with the all the mist.

Goals/desires for year 21:
To know Jesus more.
To love more, to love well.
To take time for the little things in life.
To dance all kinds of dances.
To continue learning and stepping out in singing; spontaneous, prophetic and singing songs. To step out in obedience no matter what it sounds like or feels like.
To learn how to play guitar (yes, Jason...I do want to!)
To learn how to make pottery. To paint more. To photograph more.
To see more of this beautiful world!
To learn another language (hmm...spanish)
To have greater vision. To see with God's eyes.
To continue learning how to cast aside the things of this world and store up treasures in Heaven.
To take better care of myself. To care for others better.
To hear the voice of God more clearly.
To learn true humility and meekness.
To be confident in His love.
To be generous and have compassion.

Hello 21 - HERE I COME!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOM!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Puerto Rico Trip - Day 8 & 9...

2006-02-08T19:37:00.000-06:00

...and the end to an incredible trip...

Friday was our last full day in Puerto Rico. We woke up at 9:30, had breakfast and headed off to the pool. We did aquasizes (which was hilarious in itself!), headed off to the Starkey store to get some free merch, went on paddle boats in the Caribbean Sea, had a photo shoot and swam in the Sea (hee hee), took more dance lessons, played musical chairs, then got pretty and headed off to the Farewell Dinner! It was a relaxing day of simply enjoying our surroundings and the privilege of being in Puerto Rico on a vacation.

ps. For more details on Paradisus Puerto Rico check out: www.puertoricoparadisus.com

On Saturday (Jan 14th) we got up, had Room Service bring us a yummy breakfast by 5:00 am and headed off to the airport to catch our 3 planes home. We flew all day long and man was it good to be at home, if only for the sake of not being cramped in an airplane many feet in the air.

THE END.

Puerto Rico Trip - Day 7

2006-02-08T19:11:00.000-06:00

On Thursday Kristi and I headed off on an adventure to the El Yonque Rain Forest. It was beautiful! I don't have any pictures of it because I took my Canon Rebel with me instead of my digital camera. We saw waterfalls, stick bugs (the long skinny insect from the movie 'A Bugs Life' that looks like a walking stick), the tree that makes Chanel 5 perfume and many other beautiful things! Man, God did a tremendous job of creation! It amazes me! Kristi and I also got to go swimming in a waterfall pool, which was the highlight for me! SO FUN! SO BEAUTIFUL!

We got back to the resort and still got to hang out and ... go dancing!

That evening we headed off to our reservation at Bamboo. This was an Asian restaurant where they make all of the food right in front of you! It was soo cool. Once again, we had every single desert on the menu.

That night we headed off to the pub to dance and say good-bye to our friend (the dancer instructor) Noel. Kristi even invited him to come and stay with her and her husband if he was ever in Canada. Noel told us a bit of his story...he's living all alone in Puerto Rico. His mom and five sisters moved to the States a few years before, his dad died when he was three and his grandpa passed away a few months before. Pray that he finds a godly community to be encouraged, supported and loved by.

...and then we had one last merengue...

Puerto Rico Trip - Day 6

2006-02-08T18:42:00.000-06:00

On Wednesday I went to a business meeting. I woke up, got ready, left Kristi sleeping in her bed and ran out the door to the conference rooms. I asked the concierge where the Starkey meeting was and he pointed to a door. So I walked in, sat down and felt really nervous. Then I realized that I was in the Telus Mobility meeting room. OOPS! So I packed up my stuff, walked farther down the hall and, to my relief, walked into a familiar group of people waiting for the meeting to commence. It was so interesting being in one of the tech meetings. It was totally different than I had expected.

We all got out of the meeting early (around noon), so Kristi and I hit up the pool and dance lessons once again! Kristi and I had received official cocktail invites the day before so we headed off to primp and get pretty before the party started.

This is what happens at official cocktail parties: You mingle. You eat. You drink. You shmoooz. You mingle. You laugh (even if somethings not funny). You shmooz some more. You laugh again. We had fun.

(Kristi, Brita and I)

Kris and I ducked out of the party early and headed to the main lobby area. We hung out, sat on some comfy couches and waited for the dancing to start in the pub area. We got to the pub and saw one of the women from the cocktail party so we hung out with her, her husband and her daughter, Brita. This family was hilarious! They really thought it would be a good idea for me to marry their son, Paul, who was back at home in Saskatoon. I asked them if he loved Jesus and they said yes. Crap, my one excuse was gone. We also told them a bit about the House of Prayer and they thought it was so awesome that they should tell their pastor! They were so awesome and even joined us in introducing UGLY DANCING to Puerto Rico. Now that was funny!

This guy kept asking us to "dance sexy" because we "had the moves" but we kept telling him to DANCE UGLY! So he'd start off trying to dance sexy (which was hilarious) but he'd always end up doing the disco or something UGLY along with us!
Sigh. I love ugly dancing because everyone can do it!

Puerto Rico Trip - Day 5

2006-02-06T18:50:00.000-06:00

Kristi and I woke up bright and early and headed out to the Atlantic to go sailing and snorkling. We ended up heading out to Demolition Island (I believe that's what this Island was called) which was a crucial part of the Spanish-American war.

Kristi and I had never gone snorkling before. The highlights: My incredible imbalance when wearing flippers. Kristi's hilarious hyper-ventilation in the water at the thought of putting her head in the H20 and breathing. Seeing 4 sweet star fish. The salty salt salt (did I say salt?) water!

In the evening we headed off on another fun excursion! We went bioluminiscent kayaking. I had never been kayaking before and it was radical! We started off in the ocean and made our way through a narrow canal before we entered the lagoon.

I had total dejavu in the lagoon; I had a dream when I was like..8 or so..and I was in a lagoon like that and was on a boat but had lost my family and there were crocodiles and it was scary. But this was real life and soo much fun!

The cool thing about this lagoon is it's famous bioluminescent planctin. On a pitch black, moon and starless night, when you put your hand into the water and swish it around, thereby disturbing the planctin, the planctin glows. It looks like fairy dust under the water! SO COOL!

Kristi and I stayed to the end of the line when kayaking and chatted with our guides. We learned a lot about Puerto Rico itself and what Puerto Ricans think of Canadians. They like us Canadians because we are laid back, humble, cool and relaxed...like the Australians. Sweet!

Puerto Rico is a Commonwealth of the United States of America. One of our tour guides referred to Puerto Ricans as "the spoiled brats of America". Because they're not a state they cannot vote for President but they also do not have to pay any taxes. Sweet. Puerto Rico was booty in the American-Spanish war. Also, they love it when we drink their rum, their light house is very important, for every 110 people there is a cop, and they have a crazy little frog (cokey frog? coo-kee) that sounds like a bird.

Day 5 was an awesome day!

Other things on my mind:
-I'm almost done posting about Puerto Rico .. yippee.
-Two friends of mine got married on Saturday. Crap, I'm getting old...speaking of..IT'S MY BIRTHDAY IN ONE WEEK FROM TODAY!!! I love birthdays!
-the book of Genesis has been coming alive to me and I'm loving it!

Puerto Rico Trip - Day 4

2006-02-01T20:26:00.000-06:00

January 9th - It rained.
I went for a walk on the beach, read my Bible and had some alone time while Kristi had a nap in our room. I ended up falling asleep on one of the huge over-stuffed coconut-pillow-hut-things.

I ended up waking up from my nap with this little guy hanging out by my head. eeks.

In the evening we headed out to Old San Juan, Puerto Rico, wih my boss' and Winnipeg Peeps. We ate at a place called The Parrot Club. We had fried Plantain and Yuko's (?) with a mango sauce and the best slushie/punch on the trip! It was great! The colours in the restaurant were vibrant and beautiful.

Isla Del Encanto means...Island of Enchantment!
What's a trip to a foreign land without a picture of a foreign license plate?!?

Old San Juan was gorgeous with it's cobble-stoned, narrow streets and lights everywhere. It was very cool "listening" to the flow of conversation all around me and not being able to understand a word.

There was a HUGE cruise ship docked nearby. I couldn't believe how massive they are!
There was also a Starbuck's just outside of a tiny courtyard. I had to take a picture for my 'Buck's fans in Winnipeg but it turned out pretty blurry.

It was good to get off the resort (even though Kristi and I were pretty beat) and see a piece of what the "real" Puerto Rico is like. I liked!

Puerto Rico Trip - Day 3

2006-01-30T17:48:00.000-06:00

January 8th - This was our first full day at the Paradisus Resort. I was so excited to get up and see what the resort actually looked like in day light! Dang, it was gorgeous!

This was Kristi and I in the morning...we decided to begin the week off right...by ordering ROOM SERVICE!! O baby! We did this all week long!

This was the first thing we saw after walking out of our room. Needless to say, we were pretty pumped!

This was the first palm tree I'd ever seen up close and in person. So I had to jump on it. Literally.

There are WAY TOO MANY pictures that we took this day. I'll just post some random ones...We ended up spending the afternoon at the pool, we signed up for our excursions, took a dance class by the pool side with Santos (we've got LATIN BLOOD!) and we went to Avacados, one of the "reservations required" restaurants, for dinner. It was a GREAT DAY!

In Puerto Rico they celebrate Christmas for about 3 months. Right after Thanksgiving they begin the festivities and they go till about January 9th or so. They do not open gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day but on January the 6th (I think?!?) "when the wisemen arrived at the manger and give their gifts to Jesus". I love that idea!

Kristi and I ate every single desert that was on the menu at Avacados. It was brilliant!

This was Kristi relaxing in the posh bathroom.

Puerto Rico Trip - Day 2

2006-01-25T18:09:00.000-06:00

Kristi and I woke up at the crack of dawn (3:30 a.m.) to catch our flight from Toronto to Miami. We had a layover in Miami and then flew onto Puerto Rico!

Kristi and I got UNCOUNTABLE comments (and stares) about being twins! This went on all week with the minimum comments per day being at 2...we got some pretty intense reactions.

The above picture is us on our way to the Paradisus all-inclusive resort. The buses and restaurants in Puerto Rico were always really cold!

This was our amazing bedroom! We had marble floors and counters in our room, a free (included) mini bar and room service any time we fancied!

When we got to the resort we headed off to get some grub.
After we had eaten Kristi and I were walking around with my boss' daughters when two guys approached us. They were quite intoxicated and asked where the fun was...I, so graciously and professionally, ended up saying "We're not fun and we're not interested!" and then we walked away. Yikes. Graceful wording was not in my favour at that moment.

The fountains and architecture of the resort was amazing and inspiring! Everything about it was gorgeous!

When we got back to our room we found a little lizard making himself/herself at home in the window of our bathroom. Embarassingly enough, I ended up knocking on my boss' door at midnight and asked her what we should do. We ended up calling room service and a guy came, wrapped his hand with a thick amount of toilet paper and swept that lizard out of our abode. However, not before the room service staff had a great laugh at me over the phone after I said, "Umm I have a lizard in my bathroom". I refuse to admit that I was scared of the lizard...I was just...wary. ; )

end of day 2.
I was enthralled with Puerto Rico thus far
-the ocean, the colour of the buildings, the apparent differences in the way of life from Canada, the palm trees, the weather, the beauty...

Puerto Rico Trip - Day 1

2006-01-20T22:44:00.000-06:00

Friday - January 6, 2006

*WARNING - The following may seem repetative, girlish and over-zealous.*

This post marks the beginning of an 8 day adventure into the exciting lives of Kristi Farrow and Stephanie Reimer. We begin the journey in blustery Winnipeg, MB, then travel through the skies at unbelievable heights to Toronto, Miami, Puerto Rico and back again via Chicago. Pretty much, I'm going to be re-living the most awesomest vacation and sister time EVER over the next few days!!

*Discretion is advised!*

Our adventure began around 3:30 on January the 6th when the taxi picked Kristi and I up at our houses and whisked us off to the airport. We caught our plane from Winnipeg to Toronto with no time to spare. We were the last to board!

We spent our first night in the Double Tree hotel about 20 minutes from the Toronto airport. It was a gorgeous hotel and when we arrived we were ravenously hungry!

...so we ordered Room Service for the first time in our lives!!

I was so excited and felt so blessed to be spending this night in TO with my best sister and friend...and it was only the first of many days and nights!

At one point in the evening I had to go down to the front desk. On my way back up to our room I was in the elevator with two young men. One who asked me, "Are you wearing your pajamas?" To which I replied, "Yes I am." Then he stated, "I just want you to know, that's very sexy!" And then I ran out of the elevator...saying wee wee wee all the way home! (I was wearing the pajamas shown in this picture with my brown Reception sweater completely zipped up and I had shoes on)

After eating and settling in Kristi and I decided it was time to sleep. We got to bed around midnight in anticipation of the alarm ringing at 3:30 am to signify the beginning of Day 2.

Sonadora & deseo, anhelo (dreamer & desire, longing)

2006-01-18T11:23:00.000-06:00

I'm having a hard time being back at home. I have this ache, this longing, to go back to Puerto Rico again...which I'm sure is normal after coming home from +35 degree weather, great people and no work.

I'm not even sure if this ache is specifically for Puerto Rico itself, or even the people we met there. I think this ache is a longing to be a part of a grand adventure that is bigger and more beautiful than I.

And even if I do go back to Latin America or go on some big grand adventure somewhere, I know that it will never fulfill the true ache and longing of my heart and soul. Nothing can fill or replace or soothe my ache for the touch and presence of Jesus. Only Jesus can make me whole.

I'm going to search and seek after God with all that I am. I'm not sure what it's going to look like and I've been at this place many times before, but again I say YES. I say yes to the process. I plan on searching the depths of Him, getting a glimpse of His heart for me (because I desperately need this revelation) and finding out what are the God-given desires He has placed deep inside of me. I want to move out of those God-given desires in me, not out of the Stephanie-I'm-utterly-human desires. Here I am again.

I also want to learn true humility. This I am afraid of. This means being open and honest with 1) God and 2) myself and 3) others. My heart that hates rejection is running in the opposite direction of this.

A question I've been asking myself lately:
Am I dreamer who is too afraid to make my dreams a reality? Or am I holding out for something that is God designed and in His timing? I want the two to blend - my dreams being brought to fullness in God's design and time. But I want to dream.

Those are my thoughts.

Pictures from Puerto Rico are still to come. I just have to find the technology needed to get my pics onto my laptop...all of my crap is hidden in the depths of my incredibly messy room.

We're BACK!

2006-01-15T12:11:00.000-06:00

Kristi and I arrived home from our trip to Puerto Rico last night. It was so amazing! The people, culture, weather, etc. of Puerto Rico was incredible! I'm having a hard time being back...but I'm just so thankful for that opportunity to see new things, enjoy God's creation and be with my sister!!

I'm going to post some pictures and details soon...re-live the amazing week!

Quick highlights: BEING WITH MY SISTER, seeing Puerto Rico, dancing the Salsa and Merengue (Kristi, these hips have been set free!:), meeting new people, experiencing a different culture - I love the latin culture...I was told I have latin blood...hmmm, where'd that come from?!?! - hanging out with my work people outside of work, eating free amazing food, seeing palm trees and enjoying the weather!

THANK YOU JESUS, my amazing work people, Starkey and Kristi for sharing this awesome experience with me! I'm so excited that you could come, sister! I LOVE YOU!

New skin...

2006-01-06T09:19:00.000-06:00

I got a new blog skin, as you can see.
Ren made it for me.
I really, really
think it's pretty.
Do you think it suits me?
... hee hee ....

Today I leave
for capital P (puerto rico)
yesssireeeee!

...Love the skin your in...

Welcome Home Joel!

2006-01-05T10:02:00.000-06:00

We're happy you're back, Joel! It was so good to see you last night, look at your radical pictures/slideshow and hear your lovely voice!! Welcome back! Be you, be cool, keep seeking His face.

Tomorrow I'm heading off on my trip to Puerto Rico. If I wasn't tired I'd be freaking out right about now! ....Actually, I still am!

I leave work at about 1pm, go home, finish packing up and jump in the taxi with my sister and begin this awesome adventure. I'm pumped about RELAXING, giving each other back massages, eating yummy fruit and drinking virgin margarita's, taking free dance lessons, seeing more of God's beautiful creation, sleeping, wearing fun skirts in warm climate, reading my Bible, not really having an agenda and being with my sister. I'm excited about that. And more.

I'm also excited that today felt like a cold day walking to work - and it's only -4.9 degrees Celsius! (I'm becoming a lousy Canadian/Winnipeger!)

ciao.

Two tickets to....

2005-12-30T09:14:00.000-06:00

PUERTO RICO are being lovingly & joyfully clutched in my hands right now!! In one week from today my awesome sister and I will be heading to Toronto to spend the night in a hotel and then head on down to PR! I'm really excited to lay on the beach, eat free food, drink free drinks, sleep whenever I want to and explore that warm part of the world that I've never been to before. I just have to get myself organized and ready before then. Right now the temperature there is about 26 degrees Celsius....

I'm hoping this will warm my stupid cold away. I got sick a few days ago. It's a weird type of sick, though. My throat kills me at night and my head feels like it has the flu during the day.

Tonight I'm having a sleepover with my 10 year old cousin, Laura. She's been asking me to have a sleepover for the past 4 months or so and finally tonight is the night. I saw her on Tuesday at our family gathering and she was ecstatic about getting together. Now the only question is....what shall we do?? The cool thing about kids is that they've always got some sort of idea up their sleeves.

Have a great long weekend everyone! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I hope 2006 is a tremendous year for everyone!

Today

2005-12-27T22:49:00.000-06:00

Today a bunch of people I really like left for Kansas City for the One Thing Conference. I'm so excited for everyone who got to go! May the Lord bless your trip and would He reveal His glory to everyone at the conference. It wouldn't be completely honest of me if I didn't say that I am a little sad that I couldn't go. I so want to be afloat in the sea of thousands of young adults praising the Most Holy. I'm trying not to be too sad. Jesus, I invite you here.

Today I had another Christmas gathering. I love my mom's family! They're hilarious. These are my cousins doing a Napoleon rendition. It was flippin' hilarious!

This was our little "talent show" that we did for our grandma.

Today was one of the most sentimental, beautiful and sad gatherings I've ever been to. My grandmother had a stroke a few years ago and her health seems to be declining. Before we started our "program" (talent show, hugs, Christmas blessings, games, etc), she wanted to say a few words...she began by saying how grateful she was for her family. Then she started to cry. Then my uncles started crying. Then my mom started crying. Then I started crying. I think everyone knows that this may be her last Christmas with us. It was so sad, yet so beautiful to be able to treasure this Christmas with her. I do regret not having a deeper relationship with her. I do wish that I was closer to her. But, I am sooo thankful for who she is and all that she has done for her family! And I'm very thankful to have been able to spend this Christmas with her.

Jesus I ask that you would bring your comfort, hope, strength and love to my family! I thank you that you lovingly know the number of days that my grandma has left on this earth. I pray that you would be with her children, grandchildren and friends. Draw near to her and give her peace. Amen.

Today is now over for me. It's time that I sleep.

I heart parties!

2005-12-23T14:24:00.000-06:00

On Wednesday a bunch of people came over to 521 and we had a "hello Cam!" and "happy be-lated birthday Christina, Jac and Jason" PARTY!!! It was awesome! I love celebrations!

Hello Cam!

The boys and Barb are hanging out in the living room....while the ladies, Nate and J dance the night away! (we need to have a 'dance off' sometime soon!)

It was an awesome time seeing all of you! Happy return for the holidays, Cam! Happy be-lated birthdays Christina, Jason and Jac! Thanks everyone for coming!

Tonight I'm going to job shadow my sister! I get to "work" on L&D!! I'm praying, praying, praying that a little baby in Winnipeg wants to and will be born tonight! oh yea, I'm also working my nightshift with her! Yea for bonding time in the middle of the night with my sister and hopefully seeing the miracle of birth! I'm soo excited!

Have a very Merry Christmas everyone!
Thank you Jesus for this incredible gift of life that you have given to humanity. I pray that you'll open our eyes to the truth of this season! Thank you Jesus for choosing to become a man, to die for us, that we may live. I love you, Jesus!

Giving = the gift of the season!

2005-12-21T16:50:00.000-06:00

Yesterday a bunch of people from work and I went and delivered Christmas Hamper's. It was such a blessing to be a part of all the giving. We started off the evening by meeting at Extra Foods down Notre Dame and we shopped till our carts were brimming with food. Then we packaged it all up into boxes and separated the items and presents as per the families and then began the adventure of finding their apartments.

I did not know that Balmoral was a crazy street. It ends, starts again, gets cut off, turns, starts again and the process is repeated. Balmoral is like a street gone bad! Anyway, we ended up finding the apartment and delivered the hamper to our first family. They were appreciative and we headed off to deliver our second hamper.

This next apartment complex was eerie and beautiful. The staircase and moldings were beautiful in colour and form but there was something eerie about it. It could have had something to do with the fact that my boss and one of my co-workers got eaten by the elevator.

When the elevator door opened the mother was standing their to greet us with a huge smile on her face. We brought the groceries and gifts inside and placed them in their living room because their kitchen was way too tiny to fit it all in.

One of my co-workers bent down to shake the 3 year old boys hand and he puckered up to kiss her! He gave her a huge hug! It was the sweetest thing in the world... my heart kinda got left in downtown Winnipeg.

After all the hampers were delivered the group of us headed out for supper. We decided that we didn't want to just deliver these hampers and never go back again. So....we're going back! Hopefully at Easter to deliver another hamper. (If this works with the family)

It was sooo cool to be giving gifts and blessing those less fortunate, even complete strangers, with food and kindness along side my co-workers!!

I want this to be an every day occurrence. I want to live out of this place of generosity and compassion. My heart feels so alive when I give. Why don't I do it more?!?

coming to a close...

2005-12-18T23:04:00.000-06:00

this was a good weekend.
my roomie taught me how to post pics and size 'em, etc.

here's one taken in my room:

This is another busy week ahead. Girl's day, delivering hampers, parties, housegroup, good times!!!

Today I had breakfast with my friend, Maria. It was awesome! I rarely get to see her so it was nice to catch up!

We had Encounter God tonight. Man, as much as I'm nervous, not confident, etc. about singing...well, don't tell anyone....but I do enjoy it a lot! There's something about singing to Jesus that is just so freeing, so beautiful. I was born to give Him praise.

The end.
& goodnight.

phew

2005-12-17T21:40:00.000-06:00

[wipes forehead, sits down, kicks her feet up and sighs]

I woke up this morning and decided it was time to "officially" move in - It was time to clean. So I've been cleaning since 11 am. It's now 9:43 pm. I took about a half hour break to eat but besides that I've been working like an addict all day. Now it feels sooo good to sit back, type this post and know that I will (hopefully) be showering and going to bed within the next hour or so.

This morning started off with a simple move of the refrigerator. Then out came the broom, two wash clothes (one for the walls, one for the floor) and the vacuum cleaner. Then I moved the stove. Then the stove "bit" me and I bled for a while. Then I washed, cleaned, moved, vaccumed, rinsed and repeated for the next 10.5 hours or so. It's official, I'm crazy!!! Now I'm ready to call this home. Home. My mess, my crap , my home.

This place smells and looks amazing!!

just figuring it out...

2005-12-16T21:01:00.000-06:00

This is my first post on my new laptop. I'm quite excited : )
I never thought I was going to like technology. Right now, it's favourable in my eyes. However, I just tried to post a picture but it was WAY too big for my blog and I don't know how to fix it...I'm so bad at all this computer stuff. [Ren is my hero]

I'm home alone tonight. This is much needed. I've been exhausted over the last few days. Time to rest my body and spirit. God is so good. He's so gracious to me.
Jesus, come and meet me tonight.

I pray...

2005-12-15T13:01:00.000-06:00

I pray thee, give me a moments time and I will show you a Masterpiece.

Your name, your name - it is written on My heart. You are My desire. You want to know My affections for you? You want to feel My heartbeat? Listen. Be Still and Know. Taste and See. I am good. I am for you.

I pray thee, give me a moments time and I will show you My Masterpiece.

I will show you My heart.

The Festivities Have Begun

2005-12-12T13:54:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I celebrated Christmas with my mom, Shaun, Kristi and Shane. It was awesome! We ate great food, read the Christmas story, and had a communal nap in the living room! It was so funny! There we were: My mom and I were on one couch, Kristi and Shane were on the other, and my brother was on the floor. I do have pictures buy I don't have a computer to put them on...yet! I'm buying a laptop. Woo whoo! I'll see if I can post some pics then.

Anyway, we had all decided that we were not going to give each other gifts this year. Instead, we were going to spend a bonding weekend together in a hotel in Wpg. in March. This was a family tradition, so to speak, when we were kids. Aww...good times! So we went to our mom's house not expecting anything and she ended up dragging three amazing quilts out of her room! They are beautiful!! There's a woman named Gramma Grace who makes these amazing quilts and she has been such a blessing to my family and our foster kids. Jesus, bless Gramma Grace! Needless to say, the unexpected gifts of these gorgeous quilts was definitely a blessing. Thank you, Mom!!

I love my family! I love Jesus! What a better way to spend Christmas then having a nap cuddled in new quilts with your family?!?!?

One gathering down, three to go.

my 2 cents for the day.

2005-12-09T12:42:00.000-06:00

Do you think there's some kinda connection that, as far as we know, the only gifts that were given to baby Jesus on the day that He was born were from Wise Men????

Christmas is a lovely time for celebration and giving, but it's not a time for foolish spending. I can't believe that so many people go into debt during Christmas time.

That sounds harsh but instead of going and spending mega money on presents, why not just spend a little (or a lot, really) TIME and LOVE with family and friends?!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINA!!!!!!!!

2005-12-08T09:26:00.000-06:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY AWESOME FRIEND, CHRISTINA! I hope that your day is filled with fun, laughter, good memories and good times! I pray that this 23rd year of your life is the best so far, with many more to come! I pray that God will reveal Himself to you more and more and that you would fall even more in love with Him! I love you my friend! Thank you for all the many amazing memories!

Me Move-d and love-d

2005-12-05T09:04:00.000-06:00

Yeah. I'm moved. Now I can finally stop posting about moving, wanting to move, frustration with not knowing where to move, and the anticipation of moving. I'm hopefully done talking about moving for a while. moving. no more moving. ok. i'm done. Ahhhh [sigh of relief]

I walked to work today. I feel healthier already ; )

Thank you M & R for letting me live with you! I really appreciate all that you've done for me, opening up your house to me and your friendship in general! You guys are awesome - THANK YOU! I'm excited to get to know all of my new roomies!!! It's so weird where life takes you sometimes...I thought for sure I'd be off on some kinda missionary adventure by now. But nope. God has different plans for me - I'm totally working on giving God my life. Literally. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything without....can you guess???....His "YES"!!! It's a good thing.

Anyway... Happy December! Only 20 more days till Christmas!

update

2005-12-02T12:16:00.000-06:00

Tonight is my Christmas work party. We're going to a nice restaurant, eating good food, spending time with co-workers, drinking lots of virgin marguerita's, ordering dessert and doing a gift exchange. I think it shall be lovely.

Tomorrow afternoon my dad and brother are coming out to help me move. (Nathan's helping me too - Thank you!) MOVING DAY!! I'm going to miss my awesome friends and roomies in good old St. Norbert, but it will be sooo much easier living inside the city limits : )

Sunday my aunt and uncle from BC are coming out. They are wonderful, rich, God-loving and did I say that they're wonderful!?!

Isaiah 62 - "...till her righteousness shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch...as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you...They will be called the Holy People, the Redeemed of the Lord; and you will be called Sought After, the City No Longer Deserted."

Why God Made Moms...

2005-11-30T12:52:00.000-06:00

"Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

This was forwarded email that I got...thought it was cute. I can't wait to be a mom and see what my kids have to say about me!!!

The Gift of Thankfulness

2005-11-29T16:07:00.000-06:00

I think that thankfulness is a gift. Not a gift in that only certain people obtain it or are given it, but a gift in that it is a blessing to those who possess it. Thankfulness makes life rich.

I desire to be more thankful. I feel like I've slipped into a mind set of thinking that isn't as "thankful" oriented as it should be. The last few years, my worship to God had been "Thank You"! Lately (the last few months), it seems that I haven't had that attitude in my times with Jesus. It's more of a struggle, more of a "me" attitude. I hate that! It's not about me! It's ALL about JESUS!

Thank you Jesus for your gift of salvation, for your love, for your mercy, your justice, your beauty - everything! Thank you for providing me with a home, food, clothing, a job...Thank you for the people you have placed in my life - for family and friends...Thank you that you are gracious enough to pick me up when I keep screwing up and falling down, and to rejoice when I say yes to you even in the little things. You are such a good God, such a good Savior. Amen.

I Thessalonians 5: 16-18 - "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Thankfulness brings such joy because we realize again and again what God has done for us! And He has done soooo much!

All I want for Christmas is thankfulness :)
(Man, this holiday would be so different if we just thanked Jesus for all that he's done)

I took the plunge...

2005-11-24T17:01:00.000-06:00

I bought tanning minutes. I know. I'm having a hard time accepting this myself. I'm personally not a fan of fake tanning. I don't like the idea of lying in a booth with bright, shining lights that result in me having darker skin. Doesn't sit well with me. However, today I crumbled under the pressure...I really don't want to die from sun burn in Puerto Rico (WOO WHOOO!) so I decided I'd take everyone's advice and get a base tan so I can spend my holiday in the sun and not in my hotel room!! So if I start looking oddly coloured, you know why.

Recent News:
*EVERYONE IS GETTING MARRIED!*
-Becki's awesome sister got engaged yesterday!
-I got an invite to a wedding on February 4th for my friends Janelle and Adam. I went to kindergarten with Adam!
-About a week ago I found out that my best friend from grade 6 is engaged and getting married in August! So awesome, so weird! We were supposed to marry best friends, live across the street from each other and have kids at the same time who were going to be best friends...hmm...It's crazy how times change.

I can't wait to be settled into my new house. I'm tired of being in "limbo"...the stage of not knowing where to live or being in between the process of moving. I'm done with that.

I am so blessed.
"I want to live a radical life that demands a supernatural explanation" from the pastor who spoke at Southland church on Sunday.
I want more. And I know where to get it - that's the cool part!

Sleepovers and slumber parties!

2005-11-19T18:36:00.000-06:00

I'm having a sleepover with my mom tonight! She picked me up from the 'Peg and brought me back home today. Then she had a nap while I took my 2 year old foster brother on an adventure. We hit up the most fantastic second-hand store (MCC) and I bought a rad suitcase and an amazing lamp. It was awesome. Caden kept yelling "zoom zoom!" as I pushed him in the cart. Awww!

Now I'm having supper with my dad and brother. I love hanging out with my family! (usually ; ) Here's a pic of my brother. I think he's awesome!

[Picture deleted because it kept screwing up my blog...but, my bro rocks!]

Gotta run and spend some quality time with them!
My sister, Shane and church gang are coming home from KC tomorrow! Lord, bless their trip home! Hope you guys had an amazing, God-breathed time!

IHOP FUN in the .... FALL!

2005-11-17T13:48:00.000-06:00

Here are some pics from our fantabulous trip!

Joely and the ladies...what else is new???

Here's the lovely Joyska reading in the morning! Yes, she's outside without a winter jacket in the middle of November!

MMMM...Starbuck's and fun bags...in KC!! What more could you ask for??

Christina and I had an amazing time in Kansas City, yet again! The weather was awesome, fall colours were amazing, the people - TREMENDOUS! Thank you everyone for making our time so enjoyable and fun! *Read Christina's last paragraph on her blog. It sums everything up wonderfully!*

God has started (and done) an amazing work in Christina and I. It sorta feels like a new "leg" to this journey called life. He's been revealing so many things in my heart (both good and bad, painful and beautiful) and I'm giving Him my YES to make me more like Him. I am His Bride and I want to be made Worthy and found ready and waiting!

SNOW DAY!!!

2005-11-15T04:30:00.000-06:00

Yea, that's what I like to hear! My boss called me this morning and said that our company decided to have a "snow day" and I didn't have to go to work! Praise Jesus! So I chatted with my mom, said "happy 2nd birthday" to my cute foster brother, studied about the Will of God and then went back to bed and slept for another 2 hours. It was marvellous! As much as the snow means cold weather and crappy driving conditions, there's something so beautiful about it!

I found a letter that I had written to myself when I was 15 while cleaning my room this afternoon. It was a class assignment in grade 10 that my teacher mailed back to my classmates and I about a year ago (four years after it was written). Here's a part of it:

"Dear Stephanie Erin Reimer, Sept.29/00
Well now, how ya doin'? I hope you're happy, joyful and leaving your mark in this world. This is an assignment in Mrs. Gadsby's skills class. Right now it's the year 2000, but it will probably be 2004 and you - or I - will actually receive this letter.
...
A lot has happened in my life this last month. Year would probably be a better word, but hey! Kristi moved out of the house in June, but she didn't take her bed and stuff. So that was kind of difficult. Then in the beginning of September, Kristi completely moved out, bed and all! That was difficult. Man, I completely love my sister! (insert drawn picture of a heart) Speaking about love and my sister, she has found herself a man. Yes, you heard me correctly, she has found herself a man; Shane Farrow; Sex: M Age: 20 Son of: MJ! (MJ from camp)
Anyway, so yea! Her and Shane became a couple on September 8, three weeks today. I wonder if, when you (I) receive this letter, they'll be married?! 'Cause Shane will be 24 and Kristi will be 21 or 22. It's Kristi's birthday in 2 (approx.) weeks. She's going to be 18.
These are some of my predictions of what I will be doing in four years. I will be single - never had a boyfriend yet, I will be graduated, living on my own, working, maybe going on missions, and expanding in the arts and dance. Hopefully some (almost all) of these things will be true - except for the boyfriend thing.
In closing I want to pray protection (in written form) over myself, my family, my friends and my church until I get this letter - and beyond!
I hope/pray that God will work in my life and bless the people I come in contact with. Well, I don't know what else to write about, so I guess I'll say good-bye!
Until next time & with love,
Stephanie Erin Reimer

p.s: And the worshippers will worship in spirit and in truth.

p.p.s: There's this one girl in my school who goes to the Winnipeg Centre Vineyard. Her name is Amanda Saura (pronounded Sorrau) I love her. She's great. We are going to go to downpour together and we are going to have a blast. Downpour is being held at Winnipeg Centre Vineyard."

I should have known I was prophetic at that age...every single one of those predictions are true! (Even the boyfriend thing) It's wonderful! And I still love my sister that much, more actually. Kristi and Shane did get married that year and I love them both so much! Wow. So funny. God, thank you for where you've taken me and where you're bringing me.

IHOP-KC: Passion for Jesus Conference

2005-11-14T13:11:00.000-06:00

Christina and I arrived home last night at around 11pm. The trip home was amazing! God revealed so much to us about Himself and about ourselves. The amazing thing about God's revelation is that it's both painful and beautiful, all at the same time. I realize that I am so in NEED of God. I need Him! I am such a sinner, so hopeless without Jesus' love and His grace. I want to be His pure and spotless Bride. Man, we've got some work to do!

Our trip to IHOP-KC was INCREDIBLE!!!
I am so blessed by all of the awesome people down there!
Thank you, Joyska, for letting us stay with you! You are so hospitable and such a blessing! Joely, it was GREAT seeing you! I can't wait for you to come home so we can go for bubble tea and have our great Canadian slurpees anytime we want to! I love you guys! All of you interns (a.k.a. FRIENDS!), you guys rock! Thanks for being so awesome and welcoming us down to KC twice in three months! It's been such a pleasure getting to know you guys! Thanks ladies for the awesome "ugly" dance partay in the parking lot...the police really added a funny twist!

I'm still reeling from all that was learned, all that I am challenged and inspired to change in my life...My biggest desire for this conference was for HEART REVELATION of the things of God. I'm tired of knowing it in my mind and not in my heart. Having it change who I am only for a short while...I want LASTING change that comes from real, true revelation of who God is, His affections for me and all that He has done for me! He is the real deal : ) He is SO GOOD! Bring on the Passion for Jesus and Intimacy with Christ...I want to taste and see that the Lord is good in an even deeper way.

It's bittersweet leaving a place like IHOP and coming home. Bitter because of leaving all that GOd is doing down there and sweet because it inspires me to come home and meet God HERE. In this place, at this time.

Thank you Jesus for your presence. For meeting me. For saving me. For loving me! For keeping Chris and I safe. Thank you! (More ramblings to come...)