truth be told

"Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you." Jeremiah 31:3 (NKJ)

Friday, April 29, 2005


To my sister and friends, Kristi and Christina, for their incredible hard work, perseverance, dedication, and abilities! Last night was the University of Manitoba's Nursing Faculty Pinning Ceremony!! (that's a mouthful!) Kristi and Christina are officially Hot Nurses who will shortly be roaming the wards near you! Guys I'm super proud of you! You're going to make INCREDIBLE, HOT, WONDERFUL, GOD-LOVING Nurses! I bless you to heal the sick, bind the wounds of the needy and spread the love of our Savior! Literally. I love you guys!

...and now WE DANCE! I have the privilege and honour of being one of my sisters grad dates to their grad tonight!!! We're going to eat and shake our butts all night long! Woot Woot! I'm stoked! It's going to be a blast dressing up and dancing with you fine young ladies! I'm so proud of you!!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Understanding God's Delays

This was the title of my readings last night for the Christlikeness course that I'm taking. As I was lying in bed I read this line and was amazed at how God good is! Yesterday morning I had that "revelation" about God's timing (his delay) in Exodus and then last night the topic is about understanding His delays. It's cool (and hard) how things in my life - personal revelation, corporate revelation, etc. - all seem to be preparing me and testing me on what I'm learning in this course.

This is what I learned:

"The Lord incorporates delays into His overall plan: Delays work perseverance in us. So crucial is endurance to our character development that God is willing to delay even important answers to prayer to facilitate our transformation.

Thus we should not interpret divine delays as signs of divine reluctance. Delays are tools to perfect our faith. Christ is looking to find a tenacity in our faith that prevails in spite of delays and setbacks. He seeks to create a perseverance within us that outlasts the test of time, a resolve that actually grows stronger during delays. When the Father sees this quality of persistence in our faith, it so touches His heart that He grants 'legal protection' to His people."

How cool is that! God's ways are perfect and His timing (or what we think is lack thereof) creates in us qualities that touch His heart! just gotta keep learning and living. Trusting in God even when we don't understand His ways! Saying YES to His gentle teaching, guidance and character building! I want to be a woman of God who's character touches the heart of my Heavenely Father. That is my prayer.

Monday, April 25, 2005

How are you doing?

I'm cranky today. I'm tired, desperately wanting to be alone, slightly annoyed with people and quite frustrated with myself. Don't you hate that feeling of being frustrated with YOU? The truth is that you can't run away from yourself. When your own thoughts, actions, or whatever start becoming a problem that means that you need to change. Yeesh...yes, change. No running from me. I gotta live with me. Okay, God, change away. Here's my YES.

I was reading in Exodus this morning and something in chapter 23 stuck out at me...
"But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you. Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land." (vrs. 29&30)

We live in a day and age were we want things NOW. We expect God to answer our prayers within five minutes of praying them. If he doesn't we get discouraged that our powerful God doesn't actually answer prayers. But God's timing is perfect! His ways are not our ways! He knows when to heal, He knows where to lead, He knows how to do all things, He knows why He does certain things in specific ways...He knows all and is all!

So instead of being discouraged or frustrated with timing and change I need to see God's heart in it all. What is God's heart? Well, He promises never to leave us or forsake us, He wants the ultimate best for our lives, His promises are yes and Amen, He is slow to anger and abounding in love, He is a good God... and whenever we start doubting the goodness of our God we just need to look at the gift He's given us - He sent His one and only son into this world to save US, to save ME! I need to give God my YES, turn my heart towards Him and recognize that His ways are good and perfect! He will not do things post-haste for my immediate benefit if it means that in the end "my land would become desolate".

Those are my thoughts...and I'm feeling less cranky with myself. Hallelujah! Lord, would You bring even more wisdom and revelation into my life! I ask for Your guidance, for Your love and that I would be tranformed more and more into Your likeness. I want to be like You, Jesus! Lord, in those hidden and not-so-hidden places in my heart and life that need to change I ask that you'd bring change. mmm..Amen!

Friday, April 22, 2005

My friend Marcia

Last night I had the honour and privilege of hanging out with my roommate outside of our house!! We haven't done a lot - if any - of hanging out just as friends. It was so good to get out and hang out!

I went for a walk after work to clear my head, think, breathe, pray in my park (hee hee...yes, it's MY park ; ) and enjoy the beautiful but windy weather. It was fantastic, super-fantastic! On my walk I decided that if Marcia wasn't busy we should hang out!

I got home from work at about 6 o'clock to be greeted by Marcia and our clean, but empty, house. It was a sad not having her pics placed throughout our house and having our kitchen table missing. I asked her if she wanted to grab some bubble tea with me and search for a cowboy hat for her be-lated birthday present! (It's a good thing I didn't buy one on our road trip down to Fargo because now she can choose it herself. Yeehaa!) She was thrilled to get out of the house and I was thrilled that she wasn't actually busy!

We made our way to Asia City, grabbed some bubble tea and headed off into the extremely bright sunset to find Marica a cowboy hat! Turns out that the store in Headingly was closed by the time we got there and we headed on back. We'll have to repeat that little adventure when the stores actually open someday!

Okay...I have an obsession (not really...) with the airport. Marcia likes the airport, too, but had never gone to simply just watch the plans come in. So that's what we did next - we took off to the airport! We dreamed about where we're going next in this wide, wide world (for real and "fake") and what this adventure called Life will hold! It was incredible!

Then we made our way home and realized that Mr. Super-fantastic, our awesome bus driver, would be coming by our house at around 10:30ish so we decided to make him a sign that read "Have a super-fantastic night from Marcia and Steph". We froze on the bench outside our apartment waiting for his arrival and waving hysterically at every other vehicle that passed! Turns out that last night was Shawn-Super-Fantastic's night off. Bummer. But it was still so much fun!!

Marcia, I have loved spending the last nine months hanging out with you, living with you and getting to know you! God bless you in your life, your friendships and your travels! You are an amazingly awesome woman and it was my privilege to live with you this year! I can't wait to reminisce years from now about the year we lived together and where we've come and gone to since! Let's still hang out and get together because you rock ; )

Thursday, April 21, 2005

a dream from a few weeks ago that I forgot to post = )

I had a dream last night that I was fighting a battle in the spiritual realm. It was intense. I knew I had God on my side (who is the biggest, strongest, fastest, most courageous and wonderful of all!) and that anything that would try and come against me first had to go through Him. Hee hee - suckers!!

In my dream we were in this run-down mansion with a spiral stair case. In any other circumstance this old mansion would have been beautiful and mysterious. In this dream it was dark and haunting.

I can't remember exactly what all happened in my dream but I do remember it being dark and I was fighting something spiritual. At one point I was running up the spiral staircase and was stopped by big pillars of ice. These pillars were able to fight and cause harm and carried an aura of darkness with them. They were blocking my way to the top of the stairs but somehow God gave me the strength to pick up one of the pillars which was in the middle of this row of pillars and chuck it down the stairs. There was victory after that and I was able to make it up the stairs. A lot more battle ensued after that...

What an intense dream...I wish I remembered more of the details. I know that my friend Roger from school was in my dream. Roger rocks! He is a druggy who has so much potential!! In grade 9 I began to have such a heart for him to know God! God bless him!

In my dream Roger was on the same "team" as I was!! Yes! He was eager and ready to fight this battle for God! I remember him jumping off of the top bunk bed in my dream with this huge smile on his face knowing that he was going into battle. It was a smile of victory, it seemed like fighting for good (for GOD) made him come alive!

The thought of Roger loving Jesus makes me so happy!

Father, I pray that you would guide and direct me. Would you place a hedge of protection over my spirit, soul and physical body. Strengthen me and ready me for battle. I say yes to fighting the good fight! I put on my armor of God everyday! Jesus, draw Roger to you. Create in him a heart that longs for your love. May he find your love! Amen!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

He's got the whole world in His hands!

If God has all the resources in the world...why do we limit Him?
If nothing is impossible with God...why don't we trust Him?

God is incredible!
He desires the BEST (not the good enough, the BEST!) for each of His chidren!
If we only knew a part of our worth as His children we would all be changed. We would live our lives with a different authority. A different love. An extravagant life of love, grace, strength, humility, peace ... the works!
God is good and if He is for us what can be against us? No weapons formed against us can prosper!
God is awesome!

Lord, continue to reveal yourself to your children. May we come to know the Living God, our Saviour, the Lover of our Souls, the Most Beautiful One! Amen!

Monday, April 18, 2005

False Teeth

(The client in the waiting room is sweet. She's got curly grey hair and oval glasses. Her red shoes are too big for her feet. Her false teeth are clicking together because she is unable to control the movement of her jaw. And still she is sweet.)

When pondering (yes, pondering) about the word 'false', I realize that is the last thing I want to be. I want to be real, speak truth and live genuinely! There's something so desirable about being who we really are and having people accept us for us.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29.

My revelation: Note that it does not say "building others up according to their wants.." it's according to their needs. This is hard for people to accept. We don't like having our needs exposed. We try and hide our weaknesses and put on our masks of "perfection" even though it's God who delights in the humble and actually turns our weaknesses to strengths.

As much as living "real" is desirable it also means being vulnerable. Showing our true character - the fun side, the sensitive side, the WHOLE character, takes humility and strength.

So I want to be real, I want to speak truth and I want to have fun while I'm at it!

Onto another thought...I love my family! My mom just dropped in at work and I got to hold and squeeze my foster sister, Lita. I got to hug my mom, too! I had a date on Saturday morning and afternoon with my brother and it was fabulous hanging out with him! He's amazing! We went thrift store shopping together! Yea for the 50 cent granny pants that I got, his hot shirts and the 1970's vintage suitcase. So wonderful! Then I had a fabulous date with my sister that evening! Good times eating ice cream with strawberries and chocolate sauce and watching girlie movies! I love my family! Next on my list - hang out with my dad!! It's kinda difficult living in different cities and not owning a car....but he's got one! Thank you Jesus for my family (both spiritual and physical) Amen!

Monday, April 11, 2005

...but I'm having so much fun!!!

I had such a good weekend!

On Friday I was sick. Stuffed up, not breathing, having trouble sleeping, coughing, sniffling, sneezing - the works. Doesn't sound like such a good start to a weekend, eh?!? But it was! I rarely take sick days thinking that if I can walk, talk and breath I'm okay to work. My body was so thankful that I took the time to let it rest (even if it was just for a short period of time). Marcia, my roomie, was sick as well so we got to spend some quality time together!

Friday evening was my friends birthday party. I was debating whether or not I should work but a party?!?! Sketchy. I decided that I would go and, if nothing else, I could end up napping on Maria's couch. Didn't end up having to happen - thank goodness!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIA!

On Saturday I felt even worse. Yum. But I have a little problem: I like hanging out with people! I like doing fun things. I don't care enough about my poor body to take its well-being into consideration so that afternoon I headed out to the zoo with a few friends. (check out Joel's blog for pics and a better 'down-low' @ Stupid idea but flippin' fun!! I hadn't been to the zoo in years!

That evening I met up with some friends from my home town. It was great! I wish I could have spent more time with them but I guess there's always a next time!

Even later that evening I went dancing. I had never been to a bar or club to dance before and I had a BLAST!! Tony, Cam, Christina, Jess and I went to check out Mitch's dj'ing skills in the Exchange (Mitch goes to our church). It was awesome! He did a fabulous job and all of us got to bust out our moves! I have never been so free to dance like that before! It was great!

A guy came up to Christina, Jess and myself and complimented us by saying that we were the most entertaining dancers on the floor (or something to that extent!?!). Hee was great! Later on he asked me if I wanted to join his break dance "club". He thought I was a break dancer!! HOW AWESOME IS THAT!! He even introduced me to his b-boys....

At church the next day we were dancing during worship. The entire time I was struggling with what dance was supposed to look like. I find so much "life" in hip-hop/break dancing type styles from the night before and I was clueless on how to incorporate that into worship at church. To me that type of dancing is worship. Warfare. Intercession. A tool. Expression. It makes me feel vulnerable, though.

I'm all outta time...gotta run! But I hope you all had a fabulous (non-sick, hopefully!) weekend, too! God bless you rockin' peeps!

Monday, April 04, 2005

counting my blessings once again....

I am so blessed. I'm sorry if this is repetitious for some of you or if I continue to repeat myself, but I just can't get over how incredibly blessed I am!!

I'll list of few reasons why:
-I have the spirit of the Living God inside of me!
-I am a part of a community of believers (I love my church!)
-I have a place where I belong (spiritually and physically) and can grow more and more into the woman of God I want and need to be!
-I have an incredible family! I love my mom, my dad, my sister & her hubby, and my brother.
-I have amazing friends (both guys and girls) who support, encourage and bless me daily!
-I have a 9-5 job that provides money for food, rent and some extra
-Did I say I have an incredible family and friends!?!?
-I have victory in Jesus over death, darkness and sin!
-I have life everlasting!
-I have my health
-My destiny is Jesus!

If God is in me and God is love how can I not feel so blessed? I have LOVE itself living inside of me. This love is alive! How can I not be joyful? How can I not share this?

I know that circumstances sometimes suck but even through the crappy times there is this foundation of love inside of me. This love gives me hope. Hope that healing will come and that God is faithful and just to complete in me the work that He has started.

God is doing great things in and around me. It's beautiful.
Just like fire spreads so should the love of God! I'm tired of keeping it to myself. I want to be known for loving like Jesus!